The Toothbrush Isn’t Talking
all I am hiding
are my emotions
really
no I don’t have anything
in my hands
up my sleeve
I didn’t put anything
where you couldn’t find it
everything is out in the open
<>
what good would it do
to hide your underwear
so you can’t get dressed
to hide your shoes so you can’t leave
hide the towels so
you have to
dry off between the sheets
with me
me
who has nothing to hide
except my feelings
or rather my lack of them
<>
though you claim
my claim of lack of feelings
is actually hiding something
because my door is so open to you
I have made place
for you my life
you even have
your own toothbrush here
it is out in the open too
<>
see nothing is hidden
really
except how I feel
which I can’t reveal
until you open up
to tell me what you have hidden
in your heart
The need for ‘transparency’ is getting to the point where if you don’t reveal you once looked at a naked person you could be taken to task for sexual harassment. I have a friend who refuses to appear & speak on any internet video feed lest what they say changes context as contexts change. What was harmless one decade becomes damning in the next.
This piece isn’t directly about that 🙂 but looks at how & what we reveal of ourselves in our personal relationships. When does one reveal one’s sexual history, health issues? A buddy of mine started dating a guy & after a few dates realized they had potential he revealed a health issue & the other guy went ballistic. My buddy was devastated a she wasn’t hiding anything but waiting till there was some trust & a reason to reveal.
There are enough songs, books, movies about things that never get said. We, as humans, hope that our actions will convey our emotions, not merely our words. To say I love you & treat someone like shit as opposed to treating someone with kindness without saying saying I love you.
The underwear verse contains actual experiences of mine, slightly exaggerated. I didn’t really hide things just made them harder to find to delay departure. I’m more inclined to lack of expectation than I am to lack of feelings though. That is one of those things that goes unsaid. Things last as long as they do & I don’t build that much on expectations. But when I give one of my bed buddies undies as a birthday or Christmas gift I always say – I can’t wait to see them on you. So I guess that’s an expectation after all 🙂
I convey affection easily with words, but anything deeper not so readily – why is easier to say ‘I love those undies on you’ than it is to say ‘I love you’ ?
TOpoet 