the last thing I expected
was for this to last
beyond the first blush brush of heat
when I found myself
looking for a way out
of a room I didn’t know I’d entered
I was caught off guard
you remained unaware
as if this sort of thing
happened so often
it didn’t drawn any of your attention
I wasn’t all that concerned
with finding a way out
but one to that would take me deeper
At first glance this is yet another poem about obsession hinting at unrequited love ‘you remain unaware.’ Almost a variation on ‘they don’t know I exist.’ I’ve seen this place out in thousands of movies, plays, TV shows & novels. Sometimes played in which they dislike each at first then realize that they are actually in love. Or they break up & then realize they want to ‘take it deeper.’
I’ve experienced some of this ebb & flow of the first blush turning into something more involved but am too pragmatic to mistake that blush, that off guard moment, for something worth a movie. Things last as long as they do & often that isn’t forever. Like a blush, the blood cools & my emotions become temperate.
The poem is also about the nature of … I’m not sure what to call it …. the nature of ‘deeper.’ My recent post about Valley of The Dolls is a clue to how I can become more that a little compulsive about certain things. When I read the Patty Duke had recorded the songs I had to have that recording. I also have tracked down other versions of the song. I tried to find Tony Scotti lps but without luck.
When I was watching the complete Peyton Place (514 episodes) I really liked Christopher Connelly & when I read somewhere he had released an lp at the time, I had to have it & ordered the original vinyl from some lp collectables in the States. It didn’t take me any ‘deeper into’ Peyton Place mind you, but what the hell. Ultimately Patty & Chris remain unaware (besides both being dead) but I think they’d be pleased someone is still enjoying them all the same.