Behind Closed Curtains

Behind Closed Curtains

he asked me

to close the curtains

before he would drop his pants

I only close the curtains

to daytime sun

to too much light

never to the eyes of others

we’re on the 2nd story of my house

you can’t see in from the ground

from across street

not even from the 2nd story
of the house across the street

not that I’ve tried to look

at my house from their vantage point

I certainly can see nothing

when I look across to theirs

everyone has blinds

curtains

besides

there no one in their houses

I’d care to glimpse

taking off clothes

making out

I only close the blinds

to direct sun

I keep them open most of the time

if anyone can see in

they have to be working at it

if they are working at it

they are welcome to see me

dry my balls after a shower

so why worry

at this distance

with this light

they can’t see us

naked

This piece, like all the Rules prompted pieces, is a couple of years old now. It is based on a real life event in which a FWB was paranoid that people would see us & my reassurances didn’t help. I turned the lights down – even if people could see in our bodies would be too dimly lit to see clearly.

When I was a drunk, darkness was vital to me. I know in one apartment I ended up covering my bedroom window with a blanket so that there wasn’t even a bleed of light. I had a towel I would often roll up to put at the bottom of the bedroom door. I slept in the pitch dark. I don’t really know when all that changed.

I wonder if voyeurs have a fear of being watched? Because we have become a culture of fairly shameless ‘look at me’ with Facebook, youtube, instagram, TikTok, Fans Only & more. We like to look & at the same time like to control what gets seen. Admonishing same-sex couples for daring to hold hands where innocent, unsullied, children might see them.

I recently watched, out of curiosity, Big Brother – Celebrity Edition. A show where the contestants spend 24 hours a day with cameras on them – there is live feed somewhere on line if you have to see what happens when it isn’t being aired on TV. The only place there isn’t a camera, not even night vision, is the toilet. Or perhaps that is on Fans Only. The show is, apparently, immensely popular & I’m sure it is mainly because people like to look. There are unofficial sites devoted to Big Brother Boobs (breasts) & one to Big Bother Packages (for people who need to know who is cut or uncut).