I was told

more than once

that my laughing out loud 

ruined a movie

for someone

so I try to keep it down

to a snicker of derision

which to me

isn’t as satisfying

as that laugh out loud
so I stopped going to movies

saves money

allows me to enjoy them

in the privacy of my own home


I’m one of those people

who laugh at camera angles

who laugh at clunky dialogue

ill-conceived costumes

bad wigs

crappy make up

historically incorrect language


I don’t laugh at comedies

they aren’t funny enough

I see a punch line

before it gets delivered

I keep my knowledge of plot structure

to myself

because its clear

to me

that the long lost bother 

who turns up

is not the long lost brother


sometimes I like to talk back 

to say things like

‘kill her now’

‘not in those shoes’

‘I saw that plot twist

coming down the street

on an elephant’

Decades ago, in the early 80’s, I think, a friendship ended because I found something in a movie absurd, laughed at it, & even when my friend shushed me I couldn’t stop myself. He & I had been seeing films, live theatre for a few years by then so when he opted to sit in another aisle I was puzzled. I never heard from him again. It was a’plot twist’ I saw coming though mainly because I knew things last as long as they do, not as long as we want them to.

The movie was part of subscription series of foreign films at Harbourfront & at the next showing he avoided my glance & I thought – such is life. Movie life with me hasn’t changed much, expect I see most things in the privacy of my own home. My partner is used to my laughs, my ‘wise’ cracks. I do try not to talk over the film so he doesn’t miss important points I saw coming down the street on an elephant. 

There is a structural predictability of movies that I find both amusing & tiresome. There are almost no Biblical epics without a romance threatened by adultery or the hunger for power. How many heroes, or villains, were traumatized in childhood, & when will we be subjected to the painfully predictable back story of those events.

Love movie soundtracks, so much so, I even have soundtracks for movies I’ve never seen, or want to see. Trucker Turner anyone? The Japanese film industry is great for curious soundtrack choices that are a mix of hard be-bop & rock-a-billy to give films a seemingly American edge. I am pained to see movies in which the filmmakers rely entirely on songs/music to convey emotions that aren’t in the performance of the dialogue.

I remember a moment in a movie, a movie whose name I have forgotten, as well as the cast, the plot or where I saw it – but a moment in which the character sit around a table & the camera angle changed to be at hand level in the middle of the table – I laughed out loud – then got my elephant for the ride home.

For my rant about costumes see: Let My People a-go-go

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee – sweet,eh? 

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