The Silent Treatment
no I have nothing to add
others have said enough
their need to be heard
is much more urgent to them
for them to hear anything
out of me or anyone else
<>
there’s no need for me to
express myself
I’m quite content to listen
to sort though the layers
of this conversation
people talking over each other
the louder the voice
the more important the message
<>
I have nothing to say
so let me remain silent
I’m not one to contradict
even when I don’t agree
nothing will be gained
by outshouting anyone
to share my truth
<>
it is clear the loudest voice
also conveys the most valid opinion
one that will echo forever
so don’t ask me to say anything
don’t push the microphone at me
at least
not until
everyone else
shuts the fuck up
Recently I had a friend ‘B’ ask me for some advice about a situation & I said that had none. They asked why & I replied because they don’t listen. B was a little taken aback & as I explained B kept interrupting & I stopped & asked B why they don’t listen & B said because they were a rebel. Doing what people tell you makes you sheep. I said – then why ask me anything?
Don’t get me wrong it’s not as if I am free this behaviour but I have learned not to blame the rain for being wet. So I don’t complain that most people are not listeners. The American political scene is built on denying what others hear – the facts have become irrelevant. Shouting that that someone else is wrong has taken the place of being responsible for one’s own actions. Not taking responsibility is called being a rebel.
There’s a saying ‘would you rather be right or happy.’ Not that one can’t be both but often the energy of proving you are right isn’t worth the aggravation. Some time ago, thanks to those recovery defect steps, I realized that I was more interested in clever, cynical remarks than I was in having actual thought out opinions. As I curbed the need to be clever I actually began to hear people rather than listen till I had the right response.
One of best features of most 12 step recovery discussion groups it that we are encouraged to listen, commenting directly on what another member says is discouraged. members get to share without interruptions. On line once can go a step further by minimizing to audio only – you don’t even have to see who is sharing – all visual clues are removed & letting tone of voice resonate.
TOpoet 