The Silent Treatment

The Silent Treatment

no I have nothing to add

others have said enough

their need to be heard

is much more urgent to them

for them to hear anything

out of me or anyone else

<>

there’s no need for me to 

express myself

I’m quite content to listen 

to sort though the layers 

of this conversation

people talking over each other 

the louder the voice

the more important the message

<>

I have nothing to say

so let me remain silent

I’m not one to contradict

even when I don’t agree

nothing will be gained

by outshouting anyone

to share my truth

<>

it is clear the loudest voice

also conveys the most valid opinion

one that will echo forever

so don’t ask me to say anything 

don’t push the microphone at me

at least

not until

everyone else

shuts the fuck up

Recently I had a friend ‘B’ ask me for some advice about a situation & I said that had none. They asked why & I replied because they don’t listen. B was a little taken aback & as I explained B kept interrupting & I stopped & asked B why they don’t listen & B said because they were a rebel. Doing what people tell you makes you sheep. I said – then why ask me anything?

Don’t get me wrong it’s not as if I am free this behaviour but I have learned not to blame the rain for being wet. So I don’t complain that most people are not listeners. The American political scene is built on denying what others hear – the facts have become irrelevant. Shouting that that someone else is wrong has taken the place of being responsible for one’s own actions. Not taking responsibility is called being a rebel.

There’s a saying ‘would you rather be right or happy.’ Not that one can’t be both but often the energy of proving you are right isn’t worth the aggravation. Some time ago, thanks to those recovery defect steps, I realized that I was more interested in clever, cynical remarks than I was in having actual thought out opinions. As I curbed the need to be clever I actually began to hear people rather than listen till I had the right response.

One of best features of most 12 step recovery discussion groups it that we are encouraged to listen, commenting directly on what another member says is discouraged. members get to share without interruptions. On line once can go a step further by minimizing to audio only – you don’t even have to see who is sharing – all visual clues are removed & letting tone of voice resonate.


Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet 

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