Bowl of the Heart

Bowl of the Heart

if he had asked for

a bowl of soup

or sandwich  

I would have known what to do


but he told me 

his heart was empty


he put my hand over his heart

the beat had no echo

wasn’t I the one

to fill that empty heart


I told him

only you can fill that heart

he was crying

I pushed him away

this wasn’t coldness

but the realization

I couldn’t let kindness

mislead him

into thinking there was

hope for more


the soup bowl I could fill

the bowl of a heart

was too sacred

As the song says ‘a kiss is just a kiss’ yet many of us, myself at one time, saw it the opening notes of a lifetime of love. Casual gestures become loaded symbols, beacons of hope & are no longer gestures. In the mists of my on-line past I was contacted by a guy who started with ‘How are you today?’ I replied with ‘Fine’, out of politeness. His next post was ‘what are you into?’. To which I used the site’s standard reply ‘we’re not a good match’ to which he promptly replied calling me ‘another one of those time wasters.’ 

Such is life but it was another reminder of how easily people mislead themselves & then blame others. Just because I don’t argue with you doesn’t mean I agree with you. Just because I’m not rude to you doesn’t mean I’m interested. This is one of those gender free equations – though I have found men are more likely to mislead themselves – many hetero men consider women who don’t respond or who are indifferent to them, to be bitches (or worse).

But I digress, a little :-

There is this theory that everyone is damaged & those that claim not be are in denial. (though there are those whose sense of entitlement take it for granted that it up to you to cater to their damage i.e. Trump). One of results of my recovery journey has been getting to some of roots of my damage & finding that it comes from cultural attitudes, rather than from specific people or incidents.

Like the man with the empty heart here, I was taught other people were responsible for filling that emptiness. This ‘filling’ is basis for every romantic comedy, or melodrama, in which the love the right person was all that was needed, or it was the loss of that love that leads to emotional disaster, violent revenge etc. 

Thanks for reading, write comments below, while I make myself a sandwich.

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee – sweet,eh? 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.