Gift

samprules2

Working through the  227 Rules For Monks.

Who knew the simple life could be so complex.

Gift

what am I accepting

when I accept this gift

is it an emotional bond

I’m not interested in

that I haven’t instigated

it’s not that I don’t like them

as a person

but I’m more disinterested

than anything else

 

I know the gift 

comes from a good place

that one cannot have too many friends

but at the same time

one can be 

shall we say 

discerning

so if the gift comes with strings

no thanks

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Haunted

samprules2

Working through the  227 Rules For Monks.

Who knew the simple life could be so complex.

Haunted 

there is this theory

that it is unfinished business

that keeps spirits on earth

but we had no unfinished business

so I don’t know why

I’m haunting him

 

it wasn’t my intention

to haunt anybody

when death fit me like a glove

I thought

this is it

I can take it easy

let myself relax

let this new dimension

can give me whatever shape I need

 

I don’t have to think

of who I am

what to do

I can just be nothing

I welcomed this loss of self

 

only to discover

him

he was holding 

onto more than a memory of me

as far as I knew

we were sexually familiar with each other

affectionate but not emotionally invested

at least not the point

where I would be

hovering behind him

in a shower steamed mirror

gone before he could turn around

 

I don’t want to be here

he’s not the one

I’d pick to haunt

 

it would be you

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Full Up

Full Up

he tells me

I’m full of it

does than mean

full of hot air

full of bullshit

full of blessings

full to the brim

or spilling over

dripping down the sides

with a puddle of it

all around me

a puddle that keeps getting bigger

 

is there no room

for anything else

am I so full of it

I can’t change

learn

share

 

am I’m so full of it

that I feel nothing else

 

I feel empty 

not full up

unfulfilled

even as full as I supposedly am 

 

this being full of it

accusation

is an attempt to shame me

I get that

but I’m so full of it

I feel no shame

there’s no room 

for your judgements 

to find footing

I’m not adding your shame

to the it

I already carry

at least I carry it well

no thanks to you

who aren’t full of anything

all I hear is the hollow echo

of your emptiness



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The Honeymoon Suite

The Honeymoon Suite

the last thing I expected 

was for this to last

beyond the first blush brush of heat

so when I found myself

looking around a room 

I didn’t know I’d entered

I was caught off guard

 

while you 

remained unaware 

as if this sort of thing

happened so often

it hadn’t drawn your attention

I wasn’t all that concerned

with finding a way out

but wanted one 

that would take me deeper



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No No No

samprules2

Working through the  227 Rules For Monks.

Who knew the simple life could be so complex.

No

no thank you

I’m just not that hungry

I’ve learned to say no

to what I don’t want

it has nothing to do with you

it’s not something I would

ordinarily eat anyway

I’m watching my weight

my intake

so no thank you

I’m really not hungry

I had a snack earlier

yes it looks good

but no thank you

 

why can’t you take no for an answer

no I won’t want it later

I realize all the work you put into it

the time it took

that you planned this specially for me

I am pleased by the efforts you took

but that’s not enough

to make me want to eat

what I don’t want to eat

 

I know where that compliance leads to

so I’m saying no now

I won’t be pressured

no doesn’t mean open for negotiation

if I let you talk me into this

and you’ll think

you can talk me into anything

that you can coax me

into doing things I don’t want to do

even those harmless things

 

so this no is relevant

so no thank you

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