Sis amplexibus Amor alios mututa memini et amoris in mutationes memini.
May you be embraced by a love beyond recall that alters others and a love within recall that alters you.
Lazarus Kiss.34
“Today I am to marry Mary Fields. I feel deep shame that she is with my child for if she were not I fear we would not marry. I do not recall the occasion of bedding her. If we had not been discovered by her mother and brother I would have denied it. The fact remains we were in the same bed together when morning broke.
When it was discovered she was with child I did the honourable thing by her and her good family.”
Later in the same diary:
“My dear wife has passed away in childbirth. I have a fine son to be named Eldon. I will miss her sorely as she has proved to be a boon and blessing despite our troubled beginning. She was most considerate and understanding of my various indiscretions. She never questioned my inability to remember what had transpired.
It grieves me deeply to have become an adulterer with no conscience or presence of mind to prevent it from occurring. Each time I have pledged to Our Saviour it would be the last, that it would never transpire again. Yet I would discover that it had.
Once my dear wife is buried I will leave this territory while I have a well regarded reputation for goodness.”
This is one of the last entries in the diaries. We know that he did leave Pennsylvania and move further west to set up his legal practice. He kept no more records himself of his life. He was elected to the state assembly of Colorado. It was his son Eldon who moved to Canada.
There are no records of a Rowell Byrnes, that is if this is an authentic name. Rowell is mostly commonly a last name.”
Harris went through the pages and there was a photocopy of the actual curse. Did the original that Rowell wrote still exist. If he had that he could burn it and free himself from it.
*37*
Harris waited for Trevor on the east bound subway platform. The day at dE.tail had passed quickly and uneventfully. Life seemed normal. There had been, as far as he could tell, no sudden infatuations. His eyes ached as they often did from the constant staring at the screen while he nursed pixels of rose blush to rose less blush. Occasionally he wished he could turn his eyes off because he’d catch himself looking at the subway ads wanting to tweak shadows or nudge text a little to give images more pop.
“Hey Dog. Looking fresh.” He tousled Harris’s hair.
“New cut.” Harris tired to smooth out what Trevor had ruffled.
“Man I never thought you’d cut loose of that pony tail. Takes pounds off.”
The train pulled up and they got on. The car was crowded so they stood where they could find a space.
“Any further adventures today?”
“Nothing. Happy to say.” Harris shrugged. “A day of peace and quiet is what I wanted and that’s what I got.”
“Cool. This suits you. The highlights.”
“Since when did hair mean that much to you?”
“It don’t, man. Can’t a guy say something nice sometimes. I mean you’ve been making major changes. Don’t you want anyone to notice?”
Harris shrugged. When no one at dE.tail had said anything about the new cut he thought he should have gone for a more dramatic cut, a total hair color change. At work he’d caught himself a few times grab for an elastic to pull it back into a pony tail only to reach up and there was no hair there. At least his shoulders no longer felt bare without the shield of hair.
“I got more info on the curse.” Out of his shoulder bag he pulled the photocopies his Dad given him.
Trevor read them. “A love beyond recall … sound like poetry.”
“Yeah, I suppose. Beyond recall may mean you don’t remember, that you can’t recall, it once it has happened.”
“Possible. I always thought a curse would be something like ‘may your soul rot in hell.’ This sounds pretty good.”
“Me too,” Harris laughed, “Or ‘may your complexion never clear up.”
“Whoa, now that’s nasty.”
At Victoria Park Station the bus was right there.
Without the fog that shrouded it the last time the apartment block didn’t look as foreboding. The long hall smelled of French fries, then hot dogs, then burnt toast.
The door to Trev’s Aunt Nilasha apartment was open.
“I am so happy to see you again Harris. The confusion you were in the last time hasn’t cleared away. Trevor tells me you have had very exciting times since you were last here. ”
They stepped out of their shoes while she closed the door behind them.
“Exciting isn’t quite the word I’d use.” Harris took a gift bag out his shoulder bag. In it were hand cream samples that had come into dE.tail. “This is to thank you for being concerned with my mystery.”
“Really?” she laughed. “There is no need for this.” She opened one and smelled it. “Very pretty. Thank you.”
“Now sit. I have delved into the nature of your curse. One this subtle and yet so strong is very rare.”
“I figured as much. Sis amplexibus Amor alios mututa memini et amoris in mutationes memini.” Harris could remember the curse word for word.
Nilasha gasped. “These are the very words? Repeat them.”
He did.
“How did you obtain this?”
He told her about the diaries and give her the copies of the pages.
“Yes. Yes this confirms what I have learned. Do you understand that it is not a curse. It is a blessing, a gift.” She said as she sat. “You want to give the gift back?”
“I would if I could.”
“I’m of the opinion when it was first uttered it was meant to offer hope for those who found it hard to interest mates. What one acquires, another loses, though. The universe seeks equilibrium.”
“One gets love but loses memory?” Trevor suggested.
“Something like that. We assume that with wishes there is no cost when they are granted. There is always a cost to the receiver.”
“What about a cost to the the giver?” Harris asked.
“You are still looking for a way to rid yourself of it. Have you considered what it may cost you do that. What are you willing to sacrifice?”
“Sacrifice. Like a virgin on a full moon?” Trevor joked.
“I told you Harris, this is a blood bond that has been in your family for centuries. Now that you are sensitive to it I think you have to learn how to live with it. Leave these with me.” She patted the Tobias pages. “They have more to tell us.”
Outside Nilasha’s apartment block Harris turned on his phone. There were three voice-mail messages. One from his Dad to see if he had read the Tobias papers. One from Tavi to remind him of a big project starting the next day and to get plenty of sleep. One from Alex asking for his help for a computer problem.
“Why do people expect me to know anything about computers?” he asked Trevor. “Because I use one all day doesn’t mean I’d know how to fix one. Would you think a nurse knows how to fix an X-ray machine?”
When he got back to his place he returned Alex’s call. Although he didn’t want to follow through on what was there a part of him enjoyed Alex’s voice, enjoyed his memory of the look of him. He had tried watching an ultimate fighter show but the angry animal speed and the lack of discernible rules made it hard for him to follow or enjoy. He’d seen them all over each other on the mat, punching or trying to punch and didn’t know who to be rooting for, if anyone.
“Hey Alex. It’s Harris. I guess you’re at work. Try me around lunch time tomorrow. I have a big work project starting so my phone’ll be off till noon. Bye.”
*38*
When he got to work the next morning his big project was a major overhaul of the Sport Spot advertising approach. No more pitching with spokes-people who were middle-aged pro-golfers. They wanted a younger market. The rough spec drafts of the online and print catalogues were ready. His job was to make the models look healthier, to give their complexions the right glow, the glow that would make buyers buy.
They had two new models: Geoffrey Calligan, multi-gold medalist olympic swimmer and Monica Bostford, who was extending her fifteen minutes of Top Model fame, her appearance on Big Brother last season and the Amazing Race this season. Racing amazed with Geoffrey as they promoted this new line of Sport Spot equipment and accessories around the world.
The catalogue was set up to tell the story of these two showing new recruits through the various equipment as if they were in a gym. The recruits looked as if didn’t they need a gym but that wasn’t his problem.
He was to make sure all their bodies had more eye appeal. Male models were to have less body hair. In the case of Geoffrey it was his job to make his particular ‘package’ look smaller. No one wanted the ab buster to become known as the ball buster because Geoffrey’s ample bulge pulled focus.
A day of flattening shadows, fattening calves, rippling six-packs and electronically nipping out nipple hairs.
#Toronto #amwriting #dating #lgbtq #nanowrimo #novel #Lazarus Kiss #Ontario
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