Innocent, As Charged

Innocent, As Charged

who gets what

has become a matter

of value

of potential

you may be worth protecting

but not worth saving

<>

you may innocent

but that’s no guarantee

you won’t be prosecuted

your alibi may be solid

but once it is questioned

it becomes a proof of your guilt

<>

you may be guilty

but directing blame

can get you off the hook

you can cast suspicion

on the innocent

for even thinking you are guilty

while you wash blood off your hands

<>

if your value is greater

you deserve the protection

while the innocent are worthless

blameless

disposable

sacrificed

The first verse of this piece was written about five years ago when I was working my way through the Rules as prompts. But this dichotomy of who deserves protection hasn’t changed since then. The limits of that protection are consistently tested by the likes of Trump (money, not law, protects him from the law), even in Ontario there is a tug-of-war going on over education priorities & control. 

Someone said something to the effect that the exploited have no rights, only mercy – that laws are made to allow the merciful to find more devious ways of control & when the exploited realize this, as they often do, they are legislated into being grateful for any justice that might accidentally occur. It seems that those billionaires forget that without the working poor their financial empires would crumble. If there was no profit in keeping the poor poor, poverty would end. Or be made illegal – lock’em up & funnel that welfare money into the penal system.

I am grateful for what entitlement I may have as an older white cismale. I don’t have to worry about being arrested for bringing in a package delivered to my front steps while I was out. But know as I get older, with my limited financial resources me options will get smaller but I don’t lose sleep over that, nor am I obsessed with justice – one of the many things one can become so focused on futility takes over. 

These are thoughts that drift through as I talk about these old poems. One of the keys to meditation is to let thoughts drift without trying to impose order on them- denying those thoughts doesn’t allow them to drift. Focusing only on those thoughts stops blocks the ability to see beauty. Besides I’m not that complicated.

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Bossy Bossy Boss Boss

Bossy Bossy Boss Boss

you aren’t the boss of me

no one is

doing what pleases me

pleases me

sure others can’t get away with it

but some of us

don’t have to be bothered

with what is required

so stop pointing out

what you consider to be the right way

this way is my way

so get out of my way

<>

let those who have to obey

obey

let those of us who are above

that sort of thing

do what ever we deem fit

and you can deal 

with the mess we leave behind

at least we’re leaving you something

This is a piece about entitlement period. There is no subtext. We live in a world in which consequences are for victims, not perpetrators. Usually the lives of victims are rarely put into a context that shines a favourable light on them, whereas perpetrators often come from troubled homes, or were good guys until they suddenly snapped thanks to something about the victim triggered them – colour, gender, class. Guilty victims innocent perpetrators.

The first line is one of those childhood retorts that we supposedly grow out of but many never do they nearly learn less petulant & more articulate ways of saying the same thing. My station of life, my bank account, my …. is above your so you don’t have the right to tell me anything. Or if you tell me I don’t have to listen or obey but if you don’t do as I say I can make you suffer consequences.

This sort of passive-aggressive behaviour often shows itself in people & their devices – having loud cellphone conversations in restaurants (remember dining in?) & glaring at anyone who glares at them. Just look at the continued spoiled-brat, you-aren’t-the-boss-of-me, behaviour of a recent President. Accountability is for those who don’t have $ to evade it.

‘The mess we leave behind’ often is so convoluted those that can’t clean it up get blamed for creating it or get ousted for trying & end up leaving their own mess. The world is still trying clear up the mess in the middle east. Religious factions continue to face off because each side is the blessed one. All that gets left behind is a bucket of rusty nails.


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Stop Pointing


Stop Pointing

you aren’t the boss of me

no one is

doing what pleases me

pleases me

sure others can’t get away with it

but some of us

don’t have to be bothered

with what is required

so stop pointing out

what you consider to be the right way

this way is my way

so get out of my way

let those who have to obey

obey

let those of us who are above

that sort of thing

do what ever we deem fit

and you can deal 

with the mess we leave behind

at least we’re leaving you something


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Come Clean

samprules2

Working through the  227 Rules For Monks.

Who knew the simple life could be so complex.

Come Clean

cleanliness is next to entitlement

body wash is the essence of elitism

trapped in a commercial web

that tells us that only pretty smelling people

have value 

deserve respect

don’t believe me

see how fast you get served

at any coffee shop

if you aren’t deemed clean enough

by some snooty barista

who barely makes enough to pay

for their highlights  

they take one sniff

and are ready to call the cops

 

someone said there’s no deodorant like money

but let me tell you

that ain’t true

no matter how rich you are

if you aren’t clean enough

you’re not respected

just a whiff of unwashed armpit

of greasy hair

can be enough to make people

turn away from you

move to another seat on the subway

 

they cling to their need

for fresh smells

antiseptic is purity

perfumed is worshipped

the unwashed make them comfortable

in their sanctimonious shelters

where they don’t have to smell anything

that hasn’t be sold to them

that hasn’t the cultural seal

of clean

 

it’s all marketing

for sheep

being taken to the slaughter 

sprayed with rose water

so they don’t have to smell

their own shit 

as their throat is cut

to make a healthy profit

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The Pleasure of No

The Pleasure of No

this was the power dynamic

my pleasure

was to be in getting him off

that’s it

nothing was given in return

except the opportunity

to get him off

 

he felt that was enough

that it should be enough

yet it wasn’t enough

for me

after the first few times

 

when I said no

he didn’t ask what could he do

to shift this power dynamic

so I told him anyway

but he wasn’t interested

in what didn’t get him off

so I wasn’t interested

which became my fault

wasn’t his cock nice enough

didn’t he thank me enough

 

my answer was yes yes

but I wanted more

in this exchange 

when that more wasn’t forth coming

my pleasure 

was the power of no

 

 

Entitlement manifests in many ways: if you are wealthy enough rules of politeness do not apply to you; if you are white & cute enough to can get away with murder (literally). I read of one politician who refused to pay for food at a restaurant because his reputation was so great people would flock to that place eat because he had eaten there – now that’s entitlement in action.

 

This piece is about that power dynamic in dating/sexual interaction. Often I engage with men who feel that their cock size, or their sexual technique, permits them to be the centre of of my attention – yet if I objectify them as ‘big dick’ they feel used, they are a person after all. When I suggest I too have attention wants they are ‘you are too needy.’ Pointing out the paradox isn’t helpful.

I told one man that I wanted more than ‘a good fuck’ to keep me interested. His reply was that he understood, that we could become friends, with benefits (for him.) He didn’t ask – what more can I do to be more sexually engaging – he figured his dick was enough to satisfy all my sexual needs. I said, ‘you could suck my dick’ – he looked at me as if I was a fool to think he’d ever suck a dick.

 

I stopped responding to his messages. I’m not designed to be a sex educator, to be someone who teaches better communication skills to horned up men. One guy I did block opened a new profile with a new name and started messaging me again about how much his misses etc. New name but the same approach doesn’t equal entitlement. No.


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