You Want Me To Do What?

samp

You Want Me To Do What?

even when I make it clear

I don’t do this over that

they are surprised when

they arrive

I won’t do this or that

or when on those rare public meetings

when we get to discussing

where this mutual sexual interest

will lead too

there is this shock when I say

I don’t top first date

it’s not that I’m a tease

or set out to give off any total top vibe

I’m not there

to give them what they predicted

what they expect

demand

I spent years of doing just that

drop of the hat

drop of the pants

drop on your knees boy

on all fours

perfect

decades of doing just that

gets sort mundane

is that good for you

when I really didn’t care

I was just proving my manhood to myself

that yeah I’m a top fuck

so don’t mess with me

it became more work than it was worth

yes I guess

I still carry that attitude with me

when you have nothing to prove

it’s easy to assume

I’ll have a take charge attitude in bed

saying no topping yet

is part of that take charge attitude

I might even say

top me

which seems to be

even more unexpected

01-texture01Here’s my third take on Law 17: Cultivate an air of Unpredictability – bet you didn’t see that coming 🙂 In fact it is about coming or as they call it in erotica cummming (the more ‘m’s’ the hotter I suppose). It’s also another piece about what we present, what people expect of what we present, and what people really expect even when they are told what is offered.

01-greentexture02I don’t want to say some men are liars but … they often say one thing in hopes it will lead to another, the ‘another’ being what they really want. It’s like guy who claim ‘bottom’ but their profile pics are of their cocks. Or those who figure if they are ‘hot’ enough you’ll do what you say you won’t do once you’ve laid eyes on them. What I do on the first encounter is always limited – whereas some guys are ready to go the whole hog.

The piece becomes about the expect01-yellowtexture03ation of every queer guy who isn’t a total bottom to be ready to top & if they don’t top instantly they are some how a disappointment, not manly enough. Performance takes the place of sensuality, intimacy. Kissing, nipple tease are only done as preludes to lubing up. I prefer men who enjoy each step of the way, not ones who run up the stairs as fast as they can.

01-tiletexture04I am quite frank & direct about sex in my writing, in conversations where it is appropriate. Because I am familiar with S&M, B&D doesn’t mean I’m into it, ditto with cross-dressing, trans etc. I’ve had someone assume I was disabled because of my support for Andrew Gurza. Just because I know trans people doesn’t mean I’m trans or necessarily even sexually interested in trans people.

Odd how having clear boundaries leads some people to think you are a dom top ready to give them orders 🙂

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

tileorange02

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

#Sex On Demand

Sex on demand is not what a relationship is all about – regardless of the genders involved. Yet all too often that, next to money, seems to be the basis of most relationship stress. I’m pretty sure money wouldn’t matter if there was a more relaxed attitude about sex.

shoetongue

gimme more tongue action

I am, around sexual issues, a fairly amoral guy though. I find the idea of sexual fidelity as being the sole proof of one’s love to be counterproductive. He can smack me around but the sex is great. She can run me into debt but the sex is great. Not that’s not it – it’s more like: He can smack me around but sometimes the sex is okay.

petals

petal paved road

I sometimes suspect that sexual infidelity is an excuse to get out of a relationship one is tired of – then get rewarded for it (i.e. Tiger Woods ex-wife). Now this slips into the history of marriage & that legal attempt to control nature sexual yearnings.

copier

does not copy

One can legislate behaviour, some what, but you can’t pass laws that change how people think. Spousal abuse is criminal, but do you think that law stops people who do it or even makes them think differently. Sure we have gay marriage, but that’s no solution to homophobic thinking.

November 1-30 – participating – NaNoWriMo 2017nano
 http://nanowrimo.org

Fidelity

he’s your boyfriend?

he never mentioned anyone else

yes I see how this is upsetting you

it’s not as if I picked him up

oh is that what he said

 

what was I thinking?

I was thinking it would be a good time

nsa as they say no strings attached

I assumed he had no strings on him

plus it wasn’t strings that were pulled

 

sorry didn’t mean to take you so lightly

why you are surprised and hurt

after all men are horn dogs

or is it the fact that he was sleeping

with a guy

that’s got you so upset

 

look I told you

I didn’t know that he was engaged

that you have two kids already

I didn’t set out to steal your man

he was just some sort of cute guy

I ran into at Timothy’s

simple as that

I was looking at Xtra

and he sat down to look at it too

 

one thing lead to another and another

we didn’t get into history just into bed

and if you want to know the truth

if he was getting what needed from you

maybe he wouldn’t have bothered with me

 bedsimple as that

#Godzilla !!!

Last summer at at workshop one of the other writers said they knew my work because it was edgy. I wasn’t sure what that meant exactly. It had something to do with the fact that I don’t shy away from sexuality – gay male sexuality in particular. I don’t mind being considered edgy but I know my prose is fairly mild to some of what I’ve read.

block02The Meadow garden

In conversation at a recent reading with a fellow poet who was telling me about the number of feature opportunities she’s had & continues to have, she was dismayed to hear I’ve only had two features this year – compared to her nearly every other week, it seems.

block01happy trees (till they were painted over)

Am I too edgy for the poetry scene? She said my work is ‘out there’ – which means clearly queer & often sexual, in a fun way. We concluded that if I was a female with in-your -muff work, audiences would be fine with it – they love female empowered sexuality but when I do my in-your-pants I’m too out there.

block03trees and snow  person

At a recent show the organizer went through the audience asking  specific people to be on the open mike & even though I always step up to it & we’d spoken earlier, he deliberately avoided asking me – most of the ones he asked were also regulars so it wasn’t as if he was making sure new voices where heard – but only the voices he wanted – am I being overly sensitive – maybe, but let’s face it folks, I’m a poet – a big bald queer poet – if you don’t want me on your stage say so. I have enough to do, so one less show to worry about is fine by me.

 

samples

Arrgh

as a kid

I would often play at being Godzilla

stomping on my toys

kicking them over

breathing my fire breath on them

invulnerable    powerful   dangerous

enjoying that ants were sacred of me

as I grew up

I would pull on my Godzilla suit

when things weren’t going my way

emotionally swing out at people

stomping on their intentions

when they didn’t suit my expectations

I later found out that Godzilla

was a man in a rubber suit

a small Japanese man

actually men

because the suit didn’t breath properly

the actors would tire out  get sick

they couldn’t see well out of the eye holes

and have to lead to the set

pointed in the right direction

just like my loss of vision

when I pulled on my Godzilla suit

to strike out at life

refusing to let anyone

lead me in the right direction

like those actors

no one knew who I really was

as long as I wore the suit

if the actor was in the suit too long

he’d break out in a rash

get too itchy to wear it

me I’d break out in rash decisions

end up with itchy resentments

that I’d take out on those around me

every good villain has a motive

has something he wants

but it was never clear what Godzilla wanted

expect to be left the fuck alone

we never see Godzilla relaxing

beyond floating

to the bottom of the sea to sleep

all of his energy was spent

battling the nuisances of a life

he didn’t even want to be part of

of being a monster

stuck in a normal world

that didn’t have a place for monsters

625454_10153110474755725_1849956336_nedgy in beige