Sergei Prokofiev (1891-1953), is best known for a short movement in his Romeo & Juliette ballet suite, which I do have but was never that taken by. I have a double cd collection of The 5 Piano Concertos. As well as an 8.8 hr mp3 collection that includes his Complete Piano Sonatas, Complete Symphonies, & the Ballet Suites: The Buffoon, Love For Three Oranges, Waltz Suite, Romeo & Juliette.


At one time I had the Piano Sonatas as a MHS box set & an lp of one of the concertos. I upgraded to the Sonatas mp3 & found a double cd set of the Piano Concertos. I love piano music & Prokofiev straddles the gap between romantic & modern nicely. Not as lushly melodramatic as Tchaikovsky the concertos are excellent, the sonatas are emotional, lyrical but with a more mathematic sense of structure – not as florid as Chopin.

The Symphonies, which I have as mp3, become more modern & sweeping like Shostakovich but not as dissonant. Like many Russian composers Prokofiev makes use of stirring Russian folks songs that us delightful, somewhat patriotic & satisfying. If you are unfamiliar start with the piano concertos.


One thing I enjoy about many of many eastern European composers is the use of their folk melodies to create amazing, emotionally commanding music that even without being from there myself I am filled with a sense of losing & nostalgia. I have found little North American classical music does that to me. Is there an epic, sweeping symphony based on, say, Native American musical themes?


“Apples bin Irish peace.”

“Yes. Go on.”

“I can’t think of anything more.”

Dr. Clarke put down his pen. “I see.”

“Is that a problem?”

“I don’t know. You tell me?”

“I wish I could think of more. Really. Sometimes my mind just goes blank … or so many things flash that I can’t grab them all. Don’t know which ones to say and as I start saying them the others darken. Disappear. Blank. I’m left with a blank.”

“That can happen. Try to relax. Green?”

“Peace. Did I say that already? I’m so afraid of repeating myself that I can’t think of anything to say. Nothing comes to me. I want to go.”

“You can leave anytime. If you want to get well you have to try harder.”

“I don’t see how this helps.”

“It helps me to find patterns of thinking. What does peace mean to you?”

“Peace? I’ve never thought about peace. Really. I guess it means like gardens and butterflies. Quiet. No, maybe some birds singing. Yeah and kittens chasing the butterflies around. Yeah, that’s what peace means to me.’

“That’s a postcard picture of peace but go deeper than a picture.”

“Peace isn’t perfection, is it? that’s what you want to me say isn’t it. Peace is impossible, it only exists in my imagination not in the world out there. There is no peace. Never ever going to be peace. Peace would be boring as fuck anyway. You know that, don’t you? Impossible.”

“Take a breath. That’s not what I mean but peace has a cost. In your picture who mows the lawn? Who plants the flowers? Peace isn’t an abstract thing.”

“I’m never going to get well, am I”

“Ready for the next word?”



Thursday January 23 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Buddies and Bad Times Theatre – featuring ‘Yes The Poet’ 

Sunday –  January 26 – 1:30 – feature: The Secret Handshake Gallery, 170A Baldwin (Kensington Market) – 1:30

March 5 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Buddies and Bad Times Theatre

April 3 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Season 6 finales Buddies and Bad Times Theatre


Richard III – Stratford Festival

June  – Capturing Fire 2020 – Washington D.C. 


All’s Well That Ends Well – Stratford Festival

Hey! Or you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington at 2020’s – sweet, eh?

Joy of Jobim

Antonio Carlos Jobim is considered an elder statesman of Brazilian jazz – though in Brazil, samba, bossa nova were considered street music they became jazz in the USA & hence in the rest of the world. Best know for his his breakthrough recording with Stan Getz, Jobim is more than a fine guitarist. As stand alone’s in my pop collection I have his Echoes of Rio, Rio Revisited (with Gal Costa), Jazz Masters. Sure it is easy listening but well worth it & perfect for quiet nights of quiet stars.

Not quite next on the shelf is an mp3 collection of Joy of Cooking. Here is their First & Closer To The Ground. Folk-jazz with sweet harmonies and congas – nearly very song is propelled by the pitter-pat of congas. The songs are romantic, feminist & easy on the ear. The First was a moderate ‘hit.’ Joy of Cooking was an unusual example of a late 60’s rock band fronted by women.

When Joy broke up the women worked together on Toni Brown & Terry Garthwaite: Cross Country. This is more country blues folk. Solo Terry Garthwaite released Terry – an amazing jazzy rock album that I consider a hidden treasure & it is well worth hunting down.

Also in this mp3 collection I added Cass Elliot: Dream A Little Dream; Bubble Gum, Lemonade. Cass never regained the momentum of her Mama & Papas days. The production on these lps is merely adequate & the songs lack energy & focus. There are few good tracks mind you, but over all she needed a stronger musical guide as she has one of the great rock voices.

Also in here is Kathi McDonald’s Insane Asylum. Why didn’t she become a huge star? This is one of the best Canadian albums ever with great songs i.e. Bogart to Bowie is amazing. Kathi can sing the pants off nearly any female vocalist out there & probably teach the guys a few things too. A hidden treasure worth seeking out.

Wait there’s more. To balance all these female voices I added The Association: And Then … Along Comes the Association – an immensely popular mid-60’s group that was never taken serious because of their success. Complex harmonies, some stunning production & songs that will live on forever. And finally Candymen: The Candymen – power driven 60’s garage rock of the best kind.


‘What do you mean, your brother? You never mentioned a brother before.’

‘Well I’m mentioning him now.’

‘And he’ll be here for supper? Tonight!’

‘That’s right. We can order pizza. He loves pizza. Save you cooking.’

‘That’s not the problem.’

‘There’s a problem?’

‘Damn rights there is. I’ve known you how long now?’

‘Five years.’

‘Right, and we’ve been living together for the last three and now you tell me you have  a brother?’

‘Didn’t seem like a thing to tell. There’s lots of things we don’t know about each other.’

‘Yes, but not something this big. How could you not mention a brother to me? How?’

‘I guess it never came up. You never asked if I had siblings.’

‘It’s not the sort of thing one asks about. It’s the sort of thing that comes up, in conversation.’

‘That conversation never came up then. Christ. I’m sorry I never told you I had a brother. Is that what you wanted, an apology?’

‘I just want to know why you’ve never told me. Didn’t you trust me?’

‘Oh, now it’s a trust thing. I told you, I never thought him important enough to talk about. Lots of things are like that. He didn’t seem relevant to our relationship.’

‘Till now.’

‘Yeah, till now. He’s in town for the week-end and wants to meet you.’

‘So, he knows about me?’

‘Of course. Everybody knows about us.’

‘You’ve talked to this brother about me. How many times?’

‘A couple.’

‘How often do you speak to him?’

‘Once or twice a year since I met you.’

‘Once or twice! What aren’t you telling me? He’s just been let out of prison or something. Is that it?’

‘No. Why? Do you think my family is the criminal type.’

‘Now that I know you’ve got a family it wouldn’t surprise me.’

‘My mom was right you are …’


‘What? Didn’t you think I had a mother?’

‘You never mentioned a mother. Or didn’t she ever come up in conversation either?’

‘Christ you are on a tear today. Yes I have a mother. And a father too.’

‘A father! This is going too far. Why have you kept all these secrets from me?’

‘Secrets? How do you think I got here – you didn’t find me under a cabbage leaf. Of course I have parents. Everyone has parents. Don’t they?’

‘I suppose you’re right, but it’s still a shock to find out. You know. A shock that you’ve kept these things from me all this time. First a brother. Then parents. What else have you neglected to tell me. What other dirty dark secrets do you have.’

‘These are not secrets. Just things I didn’t think important enough to bother you with.’

‘So, now I have to face this opportunity to meet your brother, whom I didn’t even know you had. How am I going to do that, how can I admit I never heard of him before. How?’

Echoes of Rio, Rio Revisited, Joy of Cooking, Toni Brown, Terry Garthwaite, Cass Elliot, Kathi McDonald, Insane Asylum, Bogart to Bowie, The Association, The Candymen

every Tuesday 2019


Stratford Festival – Nathan The Wise

August 2-13: getting back to my roots in Cape Breton

August 8: Highland Arts Theatre: 

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee on my trip to Cape Breton – sweet,eh? 


Shaw Festival – Sex (Mae West)

Stratford Festival – Little Shop Of Horrors

June  – Capturing Fire 2020 – Washington D.C. 

Hey! Or you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington at 2020’s – sweet, eh?

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Echos Of a Yule Log

Is there Christmas music that isn’t cheesy? I do love cheesy music but even I have my limits. There’ll be no Alvin & The Chipmunks in my festive music collection. Elvis is close enough, right? Over the years my seasonal music collection has grown to include traditional to ‘modern’ classics & the wtf! All of which gets at least an annual airing.

It’s not all music though – On two cds I have a nice bunch of Dicken’s Christmas stories, thanks to LibriVox. I started with A Christmas Carol – by far my favorite & I love having this full, unabridged version. Over the years I’ve added The Chimes, The Cricket on The Hearth, The Battle of Life, The Haunted Man. Carol is the only one I can listen to every year. There’s also two radio shows: Ronald Coleman in Carol; Charles Laughton reading a Pickwick Christmas. Add Dylan Thomas Welsh memories & the cheese crown goes to Million Dollar Man’s 4 little season tales.

Scattered over several mp3 collections I have classics by the Beach Boys, Brenda Lee, Kirsten Sandwich, The Ventures, The Supremes, Stevie Wonder. Two holdovers from my youth Eddie Fisher, and my mother’s crush Mario Lanza. Jazz with Jimmy Smith, Jingle Bell Jazz, Jazz To The World. Modern classics by Phil Spector – a must have. Old school with Doris Days, Jo Stafford, Gisele McKenzie. New skool with Big Freedia, Myke Massei’s Flurries

But wait there’s more: The Surfers: Christmas From Hawaii is delightful. Rojak’s Christmas soul collection is a masterpiece. Top these off with various sets of clarions, bells & choirs, Early English Christmas. Bryan Trefel doing Welsh carols, music mix in James Brown’s great work and we’re cooking for the season. Added this year: Liberace: Christmas Music. Finally two of my favourites: Booker T’s In The Christmas Spirit; Rotary Connection’s Peace – ever wonder what Hendrix would do with Silent Night? Fa la la la.

Fog Tarantella

for too many years

I was in a tree top

shouting out for love

I didn’t care where it came from

the louder I shouted the less I heard

the higher I climbed

the further I was from it

I didn’t think of climbing down

I wanted the love that was in the air

not the common stuff of the earth


a snow flurry

ended a long hot autumn

of yelling myself hoarse

give me love  I want love

flakes at first a few darting specks

then a steady scrim hush

to cool my fevered tongue

letting the sky satisfy

as best it could because

the sky doesn’t love back

except with echoes


while the snow cloaked me

my own limbs mantled like branches

a peacock

that at a distance has stunning beauty

clumsily descended squawking

it settled by me

this close it was motley stinking

our eyes met as he opened

a breathtaking fan of tail feathers

my shouting stopped

I reached out to touch

fell into a mist

earth bound by beauty


through the winter fog

men danced

their arms around wisps of white

the imagined bodies of lovers

caressing the backs

touching the hair

making it as real as they could

kissing empty haze


would I be bold enough

to allow one of these dancing men

to dance with me

before I escaped the snow

before I climbed a tree

lost in the fog


HotDamn! It’s A Queer Slam


June – dates t.b.a – Capturing Fire 2018 – Washington D.C.

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy ice cream in Washington at 2018’s – sweet,eh?

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr


Please Please Me

For my 200th blog post of the year it seems fitting that I finally get to The Beatles. This may take three or four posts to get through. Like many kids of the 60’s The Beatles were my first real music crush. On one mp3 collection I have: Please Please Me; With The Beatles; Yellow Submarine; The White Album along with George Harrison’s Wonder Wall and Danger Mouse: The Grey Album. Which covers the start, late & finish of their career. I’m get to the other lps in a few weeks.

tree03 can you see the forest

What struck me about their first couple of lps was the amount of US music covers they did. R’n’b, soul & some rock. There is a crisp fresh quality to the sound itself, sweet almost innocent. The early hits here are so simple, direct and tender. I remember being allowed to see them on Ed Sullivan & the audience screamed so much you couldn’t hear them singing “I Want To Hold Your Hand.”

When we jump to the White Album the sound is more complex, the emotional content more adult & worldly. Fine moments but it sounds as if it was harder for them to even be there (which in fact it was.)

tree02 little tree I once knew

Yellow is the original lp with the George Martin suite on side two. Just hearing it brings back lots of Peter Max memories. Is there a pop group today who would dare do something on the scale of Yellow Submarine? Wonder Wall – Harrison’s sound track for a movie I’ve never seen has lots of sitar, raga-esque mixed with honky tonk and scraps of other genres. If it weren’t Harrison it would be totally forgotten.


stumped again

Danger Mouse’s Grey Album (quickly suppressed for copyright reasons) is dense with samples music from White Album with Mouse rapping over them. I love the samples & the notion of it but for me recognizing those snippets drowns his lyrics.


Christmas Hamper

The gun kept slipping out of her hand. Blood! So much she didn’t know if it was his or hers. Jill pulled herself closer to the wall behind the laundry hamper. For once she was glad of its size. Extra large for her extra dirty family. She breathed a prayer that she’d get to wash those clothes again.

This was her first chance to take a breath since the attack had began. It started innocently enough. A group of five nondescript kids outside singing Christmas Carols. They were fund raising throughout the housing complex. Something for the new day care centre.

Jill had already bought the chocolate almonds, the raffle for a trip to Las Vegas. The carol singing was the latest in that series of wallet squeezing.

When they had started singing she was sorry her husband was still out with their three kids. Off to see Grandma Val, the mother-in-law, whose drunken tirades Jill no longer she felt she had to endure even in the name of festive forgiveness.

When the group had finished their first off-kilter Frosty one of them, a girl it turned out, came to the door to see if Jill wanted to hear another. Jill had fished out a ten dollar bill and was about to hand it across when she saw the small luger in the belt of girl’s nylon jogging pants.

“Don’t feel safe?” Jill had asked.

“That’s right ma’am.” A boy stepped up to join the girl only he had his larger gun in in hand. “Now if you don’t mind we’ll come into the safety of your house.”

“What …”

The boy shoved Jill hard back into the house. “Shut the fuck up bitch and you won’t get hurt. We’re making some pre-Christmas pick-ups of our own.”

That’s when Jill closed her hand around the handgun in her purse. She fired without taking it out. The bullet tore through the bag and slammed into the boy’s shoulder. Blood spurted over her, over the wall. The girl yanked out her pistol and fired.

Jill felt a sting in her calf.

“Bad aim sister.” Jill dropped the purse off her gun. She saw that the other carollers had lunged in behind the first two. One had a sawed-off shot-gun.

“Lady,” he growled as he cocked the gun, “if you don’t want to join the decorations on your tree just back off.”

“Ho! Ho! Ho!” Jill laughed, “Back off this you little asshole.’

Her one shot hit him directly between the eyes. She turned and dashed up the stairs to the bathroom. Jack kept the automatic behind the hamper. This would certainly be a Christmas to remember.

 tree03 pile’em high

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Love It To Death

Next up on the pop shelf is a cd with a multi Lp collection –  Alice Cooper: Pretties For You(1969)/Love It To Death (1970); Autosalvage (1968); Clear Light (1967); Common: One Day (1997)GTOs: Permanent Damage (1969); Lothar & The Hand People: Space Hymn (1969); Barry McGuire: Eve Of Destruction (1965); Tony Joe White: Continued (1969).

smlchairsstep away from the mirror

An assortment held together, loosely by Frank Zappa, California, late 60’s & memory, with Common the exception. Some of these I had vinyl at one time, some stumbled across as it were, some extensions of what I had. I remember first hearing Love it To Death & thinking how daring it was – much later to discover Alice Cooper was nearly as constructed an image as the Monkees. Alice looking 100 singing ‘I’m 18.’

benchstep over to the bench

Lothar one of the first bands to feature the theremin & electronic instruments (still trying get a copy of their first lp). Clear Light folk trippy band with two drummers !! McGuire & White with great voices – McGuire folk-rock, White country-rock & so sweet to hear.

coatnot in step with fashion trends

Autosalvage a vanished art rock band whose only Lp sank without a sound. GTOs (another Zappa connection) almost a comedy Lp of giggly sexual innuendo features Pamela Des Barres. Then to add that modern touch, a total departure with Common – he addresses some of the same social themes as McGuire .

Lothar & The Hand People: Space Hymn: Lothar was a theremin, I had their 1st lp, left it on east coast when I moved & man I”d love to fid it again. This is their second and has some sweet space moments. Tony Joe White: Continued – Tony is a super sexy country boy with a deep voice that stills gets me hard .



you weren’t willing to give in

I wasn’t willing to fight

so it worked for awhile

both got what we wanted

for the moment

it could have continued

if you hadn’t wanted

that something

some illusion of perfection

ever-lasting hand in hand

picture book frenzy

and that wasn’t going to happen

I admitted that from the first

it wasn’t as if it came as a surprise

I stuck to my guns

as small as they were

you became resentful   distant

I changed the names on the map

from lovers to friends

present but without pressure

of having to be something more

for each other

not that I wanted more from you

than I knew was possible

but you wanted the impossible

not only from me

but from everyone

I see it in each new foray

you make into relationships

to find someone more perfect than me

to find someone

without an agenda of their own

someone not fearful of losing you

someone not needing you

to prove something about themselves

to others

Hey I have a boyfriend

sort of stuff

someone who won’t be possessive

who won‘t misunderstand

when you want to do something on your own

I hear it in your voice

when you say

you don’t know what you want

you don’t know what men want

and I think

you’ll learn they want the same thing as you

most of them do anyway

someone who lives their own life

but surrenders to you

someone at your beck and call

and that ain’t going to happen

such is life

I know

I did the same fitful search

till I learned to look

for the love that’s there

as opposed to the love

I fantasized should be there

learned that

those nooks and crannies of painful self

I expect another human to fill

can never be soothed by humans

there were never meant to

I’d tell you something

about the spiritual adventure

but that’s a realization

you’ll need to come

in your own time and way

you’ll take up

that adventure when the pain is great enough

when all the false starts   disappointments

become a bitter morass

that makes you wonder

like it did for me at one time

why fucking bother

what’s the use of life


that changes

as long you hold on

as long as you don’t give up

I know it changes

because it changed for me

when I understood human limits

and decided to enjoy them

rather than bitch moan fight them

I was merely another paradox

looking for healing

when we met I was ready for you

and now you are being made ready

for yourself

because till you’re ready for you

you’ll never be ready for anyone else

poppop: ABC to Moby Grape 

Epiphany at Lake Pinebow

This is the Feast of Epiphany – the day when the Magi dropped off their gifts – that twelfth day with all the drummers drumming – or something like that. Luckily, although I don’t ever get those drummers, I do get many small realizations, discoveries, that bring change or new pleasures into my life. 2013 had many of those.

So welcome to Music Monday in which I’ll rattle on about ond & new music I like. Classical jazz pop electronica blues. So what if there are thousands of music blog sout there already.

knit02well wrapped in the east end

I found out that I still do like disposable bouncy pop music by bands you never hear from again – who remembers Wheatus (Teenage Dirt Bag) or Metro Station (Shake It) – this year it’s Capital Cities with their fun retro-sound. They do a version of Holiday that great. Lady Gaga sounds stale in comparison.

knit01well wrapped on the Danforth

I’ve picked up new or old music from many sources. Reading Pete Townsend’s bio set me on a hunt, as did a couple of terrific documentaries. The Secret Disco Revolution (which supports my theory that disco was more transgressive & revolutionary than punk or even 60’s protest music) led me to Manu Dibango – Soul Makosso. And a great book Hot Stuff: Disco & the Remaking of American Culture by Alice Echols which in turn led me to more music: Honey Cone anyone (when I lost you I found myself).

knit03well unwrapped on the Danforth

Another documentary was Jingle Bell Rocks! A Christmas music fanatic searches for rare recordings & interviews the performers, if still alive. I had to have Christmas in Vietnam (on the Rojek Story collection); also Jessie Mae Hemphill – a great Mississippi blues performer. Clarence Carter’s Back Door Santa – who could ask for more.

So my music went from modern and way way back. Thanks to those who gave me iTunes cards, they sure came in handy. Musical epiphany – the best kind.



Lake Pinebow 2

has anyone seen Brad?

he was here last night

remember how he screamed

when we told tales

around the campfire

last night

has anyone seen Brad

he shouted with fear and delight

said he wouldn’t be able to sleep without a light

has anyone seen him

I saw him go down to the lake

he took a canoe

rowed into the mist

now Jeff are you sure that’s what you saw

because all the canoes are there now

not one is missing’s

has anyone seen Brad

he has a talent for hiding

that’s for sure

he went missing last week

for two whole days

till we found him then

sleeping in the crook of an oak tree

as tidy and warm

as could be

up so high in the whispering happy tree

out near Pine Point

perhaps we should look

for him there

he could be pulling another of his stunts

just to teach us a lesson

to make sure we don’t scare with such tales

as you told last night

I saw him go to the smoke shed

he wanted a sausage 

he felt so hungry and weak

he needed a snack before he went to bed

now Olaf that can’t be so

we don’t use the smoke shed

for the summer

that’s for the fall

as you well know

or in the spring

when we run the maple syrup off

perhaps he’s gone there

looking for what is left 

there’s always some dribs and drabs

of that sweet sugar to be found

if you look hard enough

if you scrape under the ground

you don’t say

that’s news to the counsellors and I

so lets go to the smoke shed

perhaps we’ll find what

we need to find there

as they approached

they saw a strange trail


small and dainty

with a smudge mark deep and long

between them

like a long sharp tail

or  a long sharp tooth

we can’t go in there

the boys shouted as one

we can’t go in there

the Denizen is there

that’s what’s happened to Brad

the Denizen has gotten him

eaten him up

smoked with maple syrup

we know

we can tell

you warned us about the foot prints

and the smell of death is in the air

they stood silent

in a circle around the smoke shed

none willing to to take  step forward

the door swung a little in the breeze

they all jumped back

a bell rang

six rapid clangs

ah there breakfast ready boys

we’ll leave this till later

Brad is bound to show up

he’s hoping to give us

another merry chase

another merry chase

which we won’t give into

as a whole

they rushed to the mess hall

hot steaming plates of food were ready

rice crispy squares

scrambled eggs

crisp bacon

pan cakes

French toast

home made sausages

corn flakes

poached eggs

Belgian waffles

fresh milk

yellow butter

and ladles

of maple syrup

syrup to wash everything down

to make the boys

fat and pump and round

as plump and fat and round as Brad

100_0229before coffee

#Roxy Music

I’ve been listening to a play list of mine with a bunch of Roxy Music albums on it – from Roxy Music 72 to Manifesto 79 – the others are on another playlist. It’s interesting to hear these as an adult & not a mid-20’s wanna be stuck in Sydney, Cape Breton. Now I get to notice how the band matures from art school experimentalists to hit makers and finally to polished adult contemporary smoothies.

stained beauty
stained beauty

When I first heard the first few lps my moral compass was so askew that songs about blow up dolls didn’t seem so daring to me. Siren and Manifesto are the two albums that have the most emotional resonance for me.

fence abstract
fence abstract

Siren for the great lyrics – from She Sells: I always thought it began: ‘she’s talking in headlines, up to the murder of three’ which turns to really be ‘now you’re talking in headlines, up the the minute & free.’ My mishearing is bit darker but the original still has an edginess that could be about people I know today. This Lp came out while I was still living on the east coast.

how much is that car in the window
how much is that car in the window

Shortly after I moved to Toronto they released Manifesto – with a sweet disco influence – which the critics hated & which I loved. No lyric jumps out but the sonic quality and the momentum of it are a delight. I can remember putting it on my turntable, stretching out on my couch, between two stereo speakers and being transported, sad that I had to get up to turn it over for side two.

Part of what I really enjoy now is the amazing engineering on both Siren & Manifesto – even on my earbuds walking down the street the separation and layers of resonant sound is wondrous.


October 15 – Tuesday – maybe attending – “L – – -” launch


October 18 – Friday – attending – Racket at the Rocket

inner space flight
inner space flight

October 20 – Sunday – attending – Cabaret Noir

life is a cabaret NOIR, bitch
life is a cabaret NOIR, bitch

October 22 – Tuesday – maybe attending – Exquisite Corpse


October 31 – Thursday – attending – The Beautiful and The Damned


November 1-30 – participating – NaNoWriMo


November 3 – Sunday – attending – Lydia Lunch Live

June 6-8, 2014 – attending – Bloody Words


1:15 a.m.

the feel was upon him – he never knew when to expect it – it wasn’t regular like day becoming night to return to day – there was no time of day or night it was always there – it could happen at any time – taking a shower – reading the paper – walking down the street – sound asleep – it was never sudden though – it would be a gradual awareness that yes he was feeling that way again – it wasn’t like walking into a wall or waking up to a room on fire – too subtle for that – some days he would realize he’d been lost in the feeling for hours   days – not that it was unpleasant but it was something he wanted to control – to limit – to at least be aware of sooner when it was happening so he would – what – he wasn’t sure what he would do – couldn’t avoid it – couldn’t make it last longer or happen at will – it would just be there and he’d wonder when did this start or is it just the last one still happening still on the go and he’d just forgotten he was feeling it and went on to feeling other things other ways – it somehow didn’t seem fair that he could be so powerless over his own self – it was as if he wasn’t himself – that it was his body but that he wasn’t at home in it without that sense of ‘ah yes I can sit down when I want to – I feel how I want to when I want to’  – the feel was upon him & for a change he liked it

dive into it
dive into it

I’ve Dropped Acid

Some lists that are by no means complete:

Albums/cds that make me feel like I’ve dropped acid: Santana: Abraxas; The Rolling Stones: Satanic Majesty Requests; Beethoven: Piano Concert #4; Gershwin: Rhapsody in Blue; Weather Report: Mysterious Traveller; Pink Floyd: Umma Gumma.

they love their tree
they love their t(ree)v

Movie/TV soundtracks I love: Papillion; Beyond The Valley of The Dolls; Liquid Sky; The Sorcerer; Mon Oncle; Twin Peaks.

Movies that transport me: McCabe and Mrs. Miller; Amarcord; Fellini’s Satyricon; Dark City; Barbarella (also a great soundtrack); VonTrier’s The Kingdom; Inception.

back alley lovin'
back alley lovin’

Old TV shows I loved: Perry Mason; Twin Peaks; Peyton Place; American Horror Show; French & Saunders; AbFab.

Writers I always enjoy reading: Emile Zola; Allan Ginsberg; Charles Dickens; Dylan Thomas; Renaldo Arenas.

out standing in its field
out standing in its field

Female vocalists I love: Patti Smith; Grace Slick; Pink; Blossom Dearie; Mireille Mattieu; Marianne Faithful.

writing sample
writing sample

the other piece I read at the recent Cabaret Noir

Use Other Door

I’m not talking to you

nothing personal

but it seems

you only want to hear what you want to hear

so I guess

you aren’t that different from me

seeing the world from one view point

not willing to accept that

when a sign says

use other door

it doesn’t apply to you

but only other people


so I’m not talking to you

I’m not going to tell

you which door to use

you’ll have to figure that out for yourself

eventually you’ll find the right door

to get the hell out of here

and leave me alone

heal me
heal me

#Killdozer vs #ArcadeFire

spoon battery
spoon battery

Recently someone asked me what I was listening to on my iPod. I hesitated to answer because whatever it was they would jump to conclusions about me based on the music I was listening to – if I said The Beatles – I was living the past; if I said Lady Gaga – I was a real fag; if I said Coltrane – I was elitist pretentious; if I said – Chopin – I was was beyond comprehension.

pull yourself together
pull yourself together

There are some musicians or composers, who are always on my iPod. I think I have at least 10 days of listening without repeat on tap at any given time. Once a play list gets heard it gets replaced. Each play list, in general, is a mix of pop, jazz, classical.

spoon battery
spoon battery

Nearly always on one play list or the other is: The Beatles, The Stones, Van Morrison, Jacques Brel, Sinatra, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Keith Jarrett, Chopin, Beethoven, Haydn, Schubert, Mendelssohn, Mozart. Frequently: The Animals, Procol Harum, Lou Reed, McCoy Tyner, Gabor Szabo, Bach, Dvorak. There’s one play list of Latino/French,/World Music music that often includes Otto, Osibisa, Santana, Boyo Boys, Piaf, Pizzicato Five.

When I was asked what I was listening, I replied: “Guess.” Because what they thought I was listening would tell me what they thought of me. They said Arcade Fire (am I a hipster?) when the truth was Killdozer.

sad plant
sad plant

Beautiful #Evolution #Upload

Beautiful and Damned’s Femme Fatale show broke a few hearts, as hoped. A full house was immersed into the smooth word play of first feature Josh Smith – he looks good and presents well – funny, tender, emotional and seductive in Spanish. ‘I can think of sixty-nine ways to confuse you’ – for most of us it only takes one, lol. I identified with ‘we are never ever getting back together.’ And really  enjoyed his Gil-Scott Heron riff ‘the evolution will be uploaded.’

am I blue

Second feature Myna Wallin read new work and some pieces from her collection A Thousand Little Pieces – ‘the longing grows longer at night.’ Sometimes bitter, often funny, tender and sensual. Clear images ‘he drinks like a man in a hurry to lose consciousness’ invited us in to modern romance.

blues without a feeling

Music feature was Andrea De Boer aka blueVenus. I remember first hearing blueVenus at the late, great Renaissance Cafe sever years ago and was blown away by her range, her violin playing and songwriting. Andrea loves to perform and we wanted more than we had time to hear. The pieces were mainly from the Grin cd – Assured, playful & even when they were sad they were happy, music. I would have like a bit more violin but I do have the cd to satisfy that need.

blue gutter

Lizzie Violet gave great host & trivia. Open stagers were excellent – for photos check lifewithmorecowbell.


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