Scared To Be With Dory

Scared To Be With Dory

By Dory Previn I have in an mp3 collection: On My Way To Where 1970 (With My Daddy in the Attic, Beware of Young Girls), Mythical Kings & Iguanas 1971, Mary C. Brown and the Hollywood Sign 1972. I had them all as vinyl at one time & replaced them eventually for better sound quality. Now, who is Dory Previn you might ask?

As as songwriter she was well established thanks to several Oscar nominations before she recorded her first solo lp. Ex-wife of Andre Previn, she came into her own when he dumped her for the ultimate groupie Mia Farrow (Mia went on from Previn to Sinatra & then, famously Woody Allen). Dory’s song Beware of Young Girls mercilessly chronicles that event. 

The first lp is one of the rawest emotional recordings & puts the lyrics of many more popular ‘confessionals’ i.e. Joni Mitchell (who I like), or Don McLean, to shame. Her music & vocal style is jazz, if anything. Her voice is an acquired taste – I find it thin unlike say, Nancy Wilson. Buddy Collette’s clarinet work on Daddy in the Attic is a marvel. The other lp’s I have are good & pull no punches – ‘who do I have to fuck to get out of this picture’

Another equally raw confessional singer/songwriter is the amazing Janis Ian, so on this mp3 collection I have her Stars (Jessie), Between The Lines (At Seventeen), Aftertones, Night Rains. Check out my earlier post about her for more – https://topoet.ca/2018/12/10/janis-ian/

It seemed fitting to also add the more contemporary & equally raw emotional Adele with her 19 (Deluxe Edition) & 21. Her voice is powerful, her music is appealing & her lyrics speak to broken-hearts around the world. As much as I enjoy her sound I feel she hasn’t really progressed musically – too many songs force themselves to an emotional pitch.

Finally I rounded out this collection with Duffy’s Endlessly – after such an emotional load I needed a much lighter music approach with a throw back to her girl-group sounds of the sixties. Radio friendly & sweet in a way that is refreshing after Dory Previn 🙂

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My Summer Conceit

My Conceit

<>

he said

‘you treat me like shit’

I just laughed

not worried at all

barely caring  surprised 

he felt

I treated him like anything at all

<>

later

when he was really drunk

he called me buddy

confessed

he was afraid of death

that things were slipping

out of his hands

out of his head

he started to break things

to shatter my distance

so I pushed him

a little too hard

with a snicker

a left hook

neither did much good

<>

he said

‘you’re still the same old prick’

I laughed

not worried at all

barely caring 

dismayed

he felt

I had to change because he couldn’t

<>

Oct18/76

Another of the stumble-drunk poems. This one about those drinking pals I look forward to so much simply so I didn’t have to drink alone. I recall one booze buddy who said I was the best pal he ever had – sound familiar – years later I heard that line in a song about drinking. Years later, I don’t remember which booze hound said that about me. I’m sure it was after buying a round drinks.

‘you treat me like shit’ is an actual line said to me, more than once. As a drunk I was emotionally overwrought while being detached at the same time. I was sardonic, even cruel, when not feeling much sympathy for the travails of others. Partially because I thought that a nasty streak made me appear more intelligent, witty, intellectual. It was also a way to keep people from getting to close. I’d rather they thought I was nasty than gay.

Things did get broken 🙂 The drunken confessions weren’t mine, though I may have felt some of those things. I wasn’t afraid of death – after all being a drunk is a slow death. I had suicidal thoughts & imagined drinking myself to death like my hero Dylan Thomas or doing some theatrical gesture like another of my heroes, Yukio Mishima.

My conceit wasn’t in thinking I was not as bad as my drinking buddy but thinking only I recognized that I was probably worse than him & he was humouring me so he could get another drink. Neither us were looking for change unless it was to try a different mix for our drinks.

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Welcome To The F Files

https://topoet.ca/2021/06/26/welcome-to-the-f-files/

Festive Lights

most of which have since been taken down 🙂

octa-mas

be-lighted trees

East York Civic Centre

close up East York Civic Centre

rainbow snake

a bit restrained

well strung tree

chez moi

https://wp.me/s1RtxU-diop

https://capfireslam.org

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Listen

Listen Closely

did you hear that

 

I heard something

while you were talking

a whisper hiding in your words

it was a sinister shush

but when you are silent

all I hear

is my own breath

 

can you hear breathing

down your neck

waiting for that something

you must hear it

it doesn’t come from you

that much I know

that’s why I have to listen closely

hear what it has to say

it comes from behind me

not from you

but with your words

 

sometimes

it moves a curtain

in a room 

where there is no curtain

 

shh did you hear that

 

you must have

it was so loud

like a book falling of the table

onto a cushion

like the soul

leaving the body

at the last breath

no don’t stop breathing

I can’t stand the silence

 

did you hear that

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