March of this year in March I decided to up-grade my glasses – new frames, new prescription. Not a big deal, or so I thought, until I got a few compliments from strangers. By now they are old, to me, yet this past week someone, whom I have known long enough & also whom I have seen several times since the up-grade said ‘something’s different. are those new glasses?’ I replied, ‘they’re the same ones I had on the last time we talked.’
That’s the kind of change I like – one that is subtle. The drama of the big change – I’ll shave my head – no longer appeals to me. When I first shaved my head it was a startling change alright, nothing gradual about it. People started to treat me differently – I had become butch overnight 🙂
I prefer the gradual change. I’ve blogged about some of this before – getting up earlier by setting my alarm 2 minutes earlier every couple of months so I now have an extra 14 minutes to avoid writing every day. Besides if nothing changes nothing changes. So the past few months I’ve been reducing distractions. Most are harmless except that they are distractions.
Some have been hard to do though. Cutting way back on the podcasts I listen to for one. As much as I enjoy them I decided I don’t need the information & subscribing merely to be supportive isn’t enough for me. Why support people who don’t really support me? One podcast was as much about what the hosts were drinking as what they were supposedly talking about. No thanks. Plus less energy goes into downloading & then uploading to my iPod to listen o them.
On the east coast I only used my iPod for meditation & relaxation in flight or in my hotel room. You know I didn’t miss it on my daily walks. I get to hear where I am without a soundtrack. One less thing to carry too 🙂
Same with twitter, tumblr, even wordpress. Less time spent skipping over things I’m not even looking at anyway. All those product mailing lists I needed up, some of whom send me daily notices of warehouse clearance sales, unsubscribed from so they aren’t cutting up even my trash folder. The less clutter the better the focus.
Focus and productivity are my fall intents. The less clutter the better the focus.
I expected to be dead by 30
which seems to be one of those ages
that many never thought they’d live past
if not dead
then so deep into fame fortune relationships
that they’d have everything to live for
though I’ve meet people
who had those things at 30
who wished they were we dead
or felt they were dead
they’d lost a part of themselves
to get the dreams fulfilled
dreams they expected
would make them complete
I expected to be dead at 30
35 at the latest
so when I eased
past those tiresome ages
I was caught short
time to grow up
figure out what I wanted to be
now that I was alive
body fully matured
I’d say now that I was adult
but that really hadn’t happened
I was still a teen trapped
in a old man’s body
yeah I know 35 isn’t old man
but try to tell that to a 20 year old
40 is ancient
I’m at the age where I’m a relic
adult enough to know
I can’t turn back the hands of time
& glad those hands have been kind
to my face
if not to my bank account
I never expected to see the year 2001
let alone this year
figured if I hadn’t bought the farm by then
the world would have imploded exploded
of its own accord
but like me it is doing
this slow smother
drowned in plastic
& the need for more
even if I wear all natural fibres
I’m not helping
to keep the planet breathing
so here I am
some sort of adult
looking around
still no surer of where life is going
than I was when I was 16
then I was sure in knew where I was going
to my funeral at 30
a date fate saw to it that I never kept
I witness what is going on around me
some good some bad
some hopelessly futile
some valiantly optimistic
each time I put another word on paper
I am making waves for the future
ripples that will continue
even if there is not such thing s paper
even if no one can afford to live
there will be repercussion
for living past 30
the consequence of not dying
young and pretty
is getting old and sort of handsome
in the right light
being an example
for the struggling striving generations
who just wish we relics
would shut the fuck up
and die already
every Tuesday 2019
September
17 – Shaw Festival – Sex (Mae West)
22 – Stratford Festival – Little Shop Of Horrors
Tuesday 24 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Buddies and Bad Times Theatre
October
15 – Stratford Festival – The Crucible
November
7 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Buddies and Bad Times Theatre
December
The Secret Handshake Gallery – feature – date TBA
January
23 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Buddies and Bad Times Theatre
March
March 5 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Buddies and Bad Times Theatre
April
April 3 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Season 6 finales Buddies andBbad Times Theatre
June – Capturing Fire 2020 – Washington D.C. capfireslam.org
Hey! Or you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington at 2020’s capfireslam.org – sweet, eh? paypal.me/TOpoet