Top Ten Lists List

Have you seen this FB challenge: ten albums that changed/ influenced my life – actually you can remove ‘album’ & replace it with books, movies, poems, paintings, sex partners (for those of us who are willing to admit they’ve had enough sex partners to pick ten from) & finally: ten lists that have changed my life.

I’ve been tagged on some of these but never play along. It’s not that I don’t have favourites or that there aren’t things that have changed my life. I’m just sure what ‘changed my life’ means anyway. It’s not as if I can name a movie, book etc that turned me gay – there have been some that have confirmed that fact but none that are responsible.

Some things have unconsciously affected my tastes but this I only see in retrospect. Always wonder how, say, Hercules’s junk stayed under his tunic even when he was wrestling a lion – certainly had an affect 🙂 How it was that women would be naked for sex while the men often were fully clothed? No fly opens wide enough to actually fuck pleasurably. Stuff like that is where movies changed my life.

oh yes – 10 albums/musicians that influence my music tastes: 1. Stanley Black’s recording of Rhapsody in Blue; 2. Pizzicato 5; 3. Yes: Tales From Topographic Oceans; 3. John Coltrane: Blue Train & 4. A Love Divine; 5. Miles Davis: Kind of Blue, 6. Bitch’s Brew; 7. Beatles: Revolver & 8. Sgt. Pepper; 9. Liszt’s Hungarian Rhapsodies; 10. Meco: Star Wars. Oh wait I forgot …. 

I have blogged here about many of my inspirations: writers, composers, painters. There’s a post in the archives of movies I watch over & over. There’s a difference between inspiration & pleasure. Not everything has to have some sort of emotional, creative weight to bring me joy. In fact nothing everything has to be ‘good’ either, it can be fun. I freely admit my shallowness 🙂

Or perhaps this list itch is a way if people exercising  some sort of control in a time when we fear the world is spinning out of control.



my blood

sticky on my fingers

quick to cool 

iron on my tongue

red black thin

not enough to feel warmth

enough to know I have cut 



not where anyone can see it

I don’t cut for attention

no marks along my arms or wrists

no mesh of scars to explain 

to haunt me years later


I don’t remember how it started

was it to see some blood

or a need to make me hurt 

a grounding in shame

take that you stupid idiot

teach my body a lesson

teach my heart a song

let it sing that small drip refrain


I wash my hands when I’m done

watch the healing

then forget the ceremony

for hours 

for days

even for years 

before I am compelled once more

to feel my blood

sticky ripe between pale fingers

it smells the same

tastes the same

still comes as eagerly when called 

by the blade

as I evoke

a few confirming drops of my self

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees – 

Crazy 4 #sfCrazy 4U

This week made our last day trip to Stratford see Gershwin’s Crazy For You. I came with high expectations being a George G fan from way back – back to my teen’s – one of the few pieces I learned to play badly on the piano was I Got Rhythm. One of my all time favourite recordings is Stanley Black’s Rhapsody In Blue – the alto opening still gives me shivers – imagine it on LSD.

I was not disappointed in this production – the performances gave me chills, the dancing was emotionally invested & almost brought a tear to my eye – after all the tap on the current season of SYTYCN it was great to see tap in context. Nearly every cast member got a chance to put those shoes on & all of them display such joy it was infectious.


Stratford water lily September 10/2014

Josh Franklin in the lead held the stage without pulling focus or over-singing or over-emoting. It was fun to see Tom Rooney doing Cervantes in one show and Zangler in this one. Their dual Zanglers scene was great physical comedy.


Stratford water lily September 10/2014

Too many great songs to single one out, but I had not realized that so many of these were first sung by Fred Astaire in his many films. The costumes were glittery and perfectly detailed. The choreography was inventive, complex, never heavy-footed & the cast never seemed to tire. The orchestra was superb as well, and I loved the nods to American In Paris & Rhapsody in Blue that were shaded into some of the transitions.

The text was an excuse for the songs and was full of great one-liners, sharp interchanges, many reflecting vaudeville insult patter, it frequently brought such laugher the cast had to slow down a little so the next bit wasn’t drowned out.


Stratford water lily September 10/2014

Highly recommended. Stratford has added some extra shows so if you haven’t seen this production yet – you’ll regret not seeing it because nothing beats cowboys in chaps dancing up a storm.


October 10-12 – attending – Gratitude Roundup


October 19 – feature – Cabaret Noir – Pinebow


November 1-30 – participating – NaNoWriMo 2014 –

nano 14


The Silent Treatment

silence and I

are no longer on speaking terms

not sure if was something I said

or something I held back

so as not mislead or hurt

not that I mind not hearing from silence but somedays the brooding is tiresome

not even as much as good morning

nice to see you   have a nice day

but I have learned to live with silence

not having to have the right response

is a blessing    a relief

not having to pretend to be listening

with little smiles and nods

to let silence know it’s understood

because frankly I don’t get silence

it doesn’t give me a clue to go on

beyond the brooding

never recriminates for my lack of insight

into my world of endless noise where

without silence there is nothing

with silence there is nothing

it’s not that silence isn’t sweet   fulfilling

but it isn’t attractive to me

I’m addicted to joyful noise

the gentle pasture of rippling silence

doesn’t hold any appeal for me

I am comforted by chatter

when there is none  worry slips in

what’s going on

why is so damn quiet around here

why have the birds stopped

ah yes – that’s death about to pounce

silence and I

are no longer on speaking terms

it doesn’t care to break its vow

and listen to me

it makes no demands on me

doesn’t expect me to explain rationalize merely waits there placid tranquil

because it knows

I will eventually enter its whisper

I will shuffle off the coil

of my mortal ear buds

to be taken into its patient embrace


till next year