Schubert Confessions

I heard somewhere that classical music is gay 🙂 I had to laugh but there might be some truth to that as it seems the biggest most dedicated fans of classical music aren’t so confined by cultural roles – which is pretty queer. I have a straight friend who can talk hockey stats & Met performances with the same eagerness.04jul01The lives of classical composers is a different matter. Thanks to changing cultural definitions of homosexuality, to legal matters (write a concert & stay closeted, or be prisoned if you come out & never write music again). Several major composers have had their private letters, diaries, destroyed after death to keep their reputations unsullied. Others have flaunted their heterosexuality to the thrill of fans.04jul02So in some cases we speculate – gay revisionism of the past – the less known about a composer’s romantic life the more suspect their sexuality becomes – Beethoven (even his race is supressed)? Schubert? Schubert is the focus of today post. Like many my introduction was the Trout Quintet, which is charming & bubbly but my absolute favourite is the string quartet ‘Death & The Maiden.’04jul03Thanks to MHS I did acquire his nearly complete piano music – dances, waltzes, sonatas – all easy to listen to, some with strong emotional pull. His lieder came later to the collection – a bit more demanding to listen to – Trout comes from one of his lieder. The male voice makes for a delightful trout as it splashes in the melody.

I have boxed sets of his Symphonies, The Last Four Quartets, &  Works for Violin & Piano. He sometimes hits the over-the-top romanticism of Tchaikovsky – but is for the most part restrained. The Quartets are emotionally compelling, demanding & delightful. Listening it’s often clear there was an emotional turmoil in his private life he needed to express.04jul04We only have rumours of his romantic life, not proof as his personal papers were either lost or destroyed after this death. All we can do is read between the notes & regret a history lost to shame?


Confessions of a dick pig 2

“You want that don’t you.” He squeezed my dick, pushing my sweats down to free it.

“It’s not as if I really came up here for a cup of coffee.”

We laughed and he let me go. “Let’s get out of these uncomfortable things.”

By now my eyes were accustomed to the dim. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and hurriedÌly pulling off his shoes, socks, shorts. Standing I did the same.

He stretched back holding his dick out to me, “You want this don’t you. I knew when I looked at you in the gym that you were a dick pig.”

“We’re all dick pigs if it’s the right dick.” I walked over to the bed and stood with his legs between mine. My hand squeezing my own balls.

He leaned forward and pulled my cock into his mouth, down to the root. I put a hand on his head and held him there as his tongue worked along my shaft. He tried to pull away but I held him firmly. “You like to choke a little don’t you.” Keeping firm hold of him I pushed him back on the bed so that I could fuck his mouth. This excited him so much that he began to jerk himself off. Our hands fought as I tried to keep fucking his mouth while stopping him from beating his meat. “This is all mine.” I told him.

He abruptly grabbed my ass, hefted me up a couple of inches and settled my balls in his mouth. I could feel his unshaven chin chafing my asshole and he pulled and tugged on my big loose balls. I reached back and grabbed his heavy dick and held it gently in my hand. His hands were on my shoulders twisting me around and pushing me down onto him, “I knew you wanted it. Now take it.”

His dick was in my mouth. I breathed deeply the muggy salty smell of his workout sweat. “Oh yeah take it and take it you dick pig.” He was holding my head as I had held his. His hips thrusting his cock in and out of my hungry mouth. I wanted him to stop so I could just eat at his cock. I let it slip out of my mouth briefly to tell him “Keep still a minute.”

“How can you with that … “

I shut him up by shoving my cock in his mouth. We both groaned and relaxed, as it were, into the work at hand. The head of his cock was about the ˛same size as mine, not too big, smooth, cut but it thicken as it lengthened so that I couldn’t quite get my hand around the base of it.  The shape of it allowed it to slide down my throat without gagging me immediately and was comfortable so move up and down on quickly and fully. It was about an inch too long for me to take every time but I loved the feeling of it’s being just a bit more than I could handle.

“Ah suck that cock you dick pig,” Clive was moaning. “With a bit of practice you can take the whole things. Fuck yeah. Suck it.”

He was licking my cock, gently jerking it, kissing my balls, biting my inner thigh and murmuring with pleasure. “Suck me harder. Press my dick harder with your tongue.” He pulled his cock out so that just the first couple of ¿inches were in my mouth. “Right there. Just swirl your tongue.”

I worked my tongue as he wanted.

“I’m gonna shoot.” he whispered. “Oh fuck yeah I’m gonna shooot.” He pulled his cock out of my mouth and jerked it twice while jerking on mine and I felt the spray of his hot come splashing across my chest. His legs straddling my head with his butt inches from my faces I could see the glute muscles of his ass flexing as he shot his load. I shot my own load and without thinking I pulled his ass to my face, my tongue eagerly seeking his hole. I only had a quick taste before he was moving off me.

“Gotta save something for later baby cakes.” he laughed. “Time for that shower.”


cover170x170-1on going 🙂 when new podcast are posted:  Deliciously iTunes

September 1-4: attending FanExpo 2016 (I’ve already registered)


November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo



June 2-4: attending: Capturing Fire 2017 –


check out these poets from Capturing Fire 2015:


Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh?

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Past Tense Compilations

Next on my classical shelf are some Bits and Pieces cds I assembled when I did the big transfer of my lps’ to CDs a few years ago – that was a major task. The ‘new’ cds only held about 80 minutes of sound each so I could get about 2 lps on each – often I’d end up with with a track or two that didn’t fit. These ended up on ‘Bits and Pieces.’

onepillow pillow abandoned

I enjoy the randomness of these compilations. I made of note of most composers & pieces but none of sources or performers. They range from Rossini (string sonata 6 – these sonatas are amongst my favourites & I have, I think, 3 different recordings of them), to Ligeti, Bartok (music for strings & percussion) and more on one.

oneshelf shelf abandonment

Another includes Lalo (rhapsody norvegienne: lush romantic), Mozart (adagio for glass harmonica), and stuff I didn’t even make composer notes on 😦 – a saxophone rhapsody, March of the Devil. I could google more info but who really needs to know? I might know when I hear them.

oneshoesolo for shoe

Then one of piano music. Mozart (sonata piano four hands); Bach (chromatic fantasy), Haydn & Schubert. The sources are so diverse I have no recollection of the lp’s they came from except in a very general way. I kept some of these because I was unable to find any other versions of them, or they were versions I love so much none other I’ve heard lives up to them.


May 26 – attending – King John – 2 pm – Stratford


June 6-8 – attending – Bloody Words

broken writing blocks broken at Loyalist

June 23-27 – attending – Manuscript to Book – Loyalist Summer Arts – Belleville, Ont

August 28-31 – attending – FanExpo Canada


The Past Tense


I am holding your past

in my hands

because you have no future

least ways not with me

your life may go on

and I’ll certainly wail when you die

if you die before I do

I am holding your past

in my hands

wondering what to do with it

I’m not going to deny you access to it

but I don’t want it in my possession either

there seems to be nothing much to do with it

expect throw it away

as you have thrown away

so many things already

why should I show any more respect

than you do

or perhaps I’ll donate it

recycle it

there must someone in need of

a well used past

that still has some time left in it

some promise unfulfilled

that you will never fulfill now

kijiji has no list for it

‘needs a good home

one past

house and heart broken’

I’m holding your past

in my hands

it doesn’t want me to let go

as much as I try to release it

as much as I feel I’ve finally gotten rid of it

it’ll show up in the smell of night fall

or in the echo of a laugh

from an open window on a hot sunny afternoon

it sticks to me

the only way to get rid your past

is to give up mine too

but I’m not willing to do that

mine doesn’t shame me

the way yours does you

cd01 classical shelf #1


#Killdozer vs #ArcadeFire

spoon battery
spoon battery

Recently someone asked me what I was listening to on my iPod. I hesitated to answer because whatever it was they would jump to conclusions about me based on the music I was listening to – if I said The Beatles – I was living the past; if I said Lady Gaga – I was a real fag; if I said Coltrane – I was elitist pretentious; if I said – Chopin – I was was beyond comprehension.

pull yourself together
pull yourself together

There are some musicians or composers, who are always on my iPod. I think I have at least 10 days of listening without repeat on tap at any given time. Once a play list gets heard it gets replaced. Each play list, in general, is a mix of pop, jazz, classical.

spoon battery
spoon battery

Nearly always on one play list or the other is: The Beatles, The Stones, Van Morrison, Jacques Brel, Sinatra, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Keith Jarrett, Chopin, Beethoven, Haydn, Schubert, Mendelssohn, Mozart. Frequently: The Animals, Procol Harum, Lou Reed, McCoy Tyner, Gabor Szabo, Bach, Dvorak. There’s one play list of Latino/French,/World Music music that often includes Otto, Osibisa, Santana, Boyo Boys, Piaf, Pizzicato Five.

When I was asked what I was listening, I replied: “Guess.” Because what they thought I was listening would tell me what they thought of me. They said Arcade Fire (am I a hipster?) when the truth was Killdozer.

sad plant
sad plant