Spiritual Shreds

Spiritual Shreds

sometimes we can’t wait

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the rush of kisses

clasping grinding

the restraint of denim

too much

as our erections strain

against each other 

through that pointless fabric

it almost sheds itself

is the rush

from tongue to tongue

to tongues on cocks

under foreskins

under balls

over buttholes

<>

we have to consume

as much of each other as possible

as fast as possible

edging irrelevant

coming mandatory

demanded again

sucking fucking

without relaxation

we aren’t here for foreplay

we are here to consummate

consume

climax

<>

Should I have posted this with a warning? “Contains adult language, nudity & explicit male-on-male sex?”  Or was it safe to assume my followers here won’t be surprised or offended by erotica? There was a time when I was less explicit, less in your pants, about sex acts but that self-censorship was shame based. So I stopped. When I was doing spoken-word shows I can remember the shocked reactions to the line in one of my poems ‘new boyfriend only fifteen’ with a pause before ‘years younger than me.’ (Boyfriend – https://topoet.ca/2015/04/01/boyfriend/)

I remember another time, after I done a feature set, in which only one piece was sexual, another poet, who read some pieces about being a new father, came up after to say ‘why do you gay guys only write about sex?’ I replied ‘why do you straight guys only write about parent?’ He gave a little laugh & walked away shaking his head – clearly parenthood is more emotionally resonant & authentic & suitable for serious writers. 

But, as usual, I digress, or do I? I don’t think there’s anything to explain in this piece. It is based on actual events in my life. As such it is a celebration of the surrender to lust without hesitation or apology in the face of a culture in which pleasure is shallow & suffering is deep. There’s no attempt to make it into a spiritual experience either in order to elevate it from the sheer physicality.

The explicit is also a reaction to the current of heteronormativity that has infiltrated lgbtq so that sex is repressed in the world homosexual so as to make it more ‘acceptable.’ This sort of erasure still goes on to somehow not offend the mainstream. Even in the recent Colorado shooting – at first it was deemed more correct to call one of the defenders a ‘drag queen’ rather than state it was trans person. Drag queen has become more ‘acceptable’ thanks to RuPaul. In the USA ‘trans’ is used as political dynamite to distract voters from actual issues.


Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee
– sweet, eh? paypal.me/TOpoet 

#Sex With #Men

sample

Sex With Men

I have sex with men

I almost started this with

I sleep with men

opting for that gentler phrase

but the truth is

I don’t sleep with them

I can’t remember the last time

I spent the night with a man

I can’t sleep with someone beside me

in the same room is possible

 

I have sex with men

I like the kissing

but that isn’t a deal breaker

unless they want

to push on to more than

sucking

I almost said oral

opting for that gentler phrase

but the truth is cock sucking

plays a big part in what turns me on to more

the more mutual the sucking

the more that is possible

 

I said ‘more’

opting for that gentler phrase

because by anal

I mean butt fucking

opting for that clinical phrase ‘anal’

is another way to distance from what happens

 

I have sex with men

gay bi straight curious

single partnered married

with or without children

living alone

still living at home

as long as they are willing

I’m willing

 

willing up to a point that is

what I’m not into

I’m not into

I draw that line when I have to

I can say no

to what won’t get me off

I say no without rancour

because there is no gentler phrase

what works for you in fine

if you want to say sleep with

oral more

or sex suck fuck

 

it’s all the same to me

as long as you do it with me

because I have sex with men

suit01

not my bags

For June I’ll be ‘discussing’ some of the pieces that might have turned up in my Raunch and Roll set for the Pride 2015 Erotica Cabaret – some of which may also get stage time at Capturing Fire in DC. This is my way of warning that they’ll be sexual, queer, & somewhat comic.

Sex With Men is the most recent of these pieces. It started with that first line. I wanted to open with something very direct, not that I felt it was a confession of in anyway, because audiences that know me at all know I’m queer even when none of the pieces I do references sexuality in anyway. Yes, I do have pieces not about sex.

suit02

not the case in question

Its also a comment on how we self-censor ourselves. A process that I’ve worked through and talked about in other pieces. I’m now quite comfortable with being direct, I’m also comfortable with talking sex in a more sensual way – finding sweet ways to talk about the curves of the body is one of the joys of writing.

The piece also reflects some of my own personal pleasures, what I like to do – at least some of what I like to do. I don’t dwell on physical types but on acts. I do get into types a little in the ‘gay bi straight curious’ because there are guys who’ll only do single guys etc.

suit03

not so cozy corner

The non-truth of the piece is that I don’t have  sex as frequently it seems to imply. In fact if gay guys had as much sex as people think we do we wouldn’t have time to shop for tee-shirts. Because a tee-shirt can be forever, sex, if you’re lucky, lasts a couple of hours.

June 8-9 – attending – Capturing Fire – Washington DC

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

suitcase

‘I’m some hole’

A sun thunder shower didn’t keep people away from the May Noir show at the Central Sunday night. The enthusiasm of capacity house wasn’t damped by the heavy rain as it stomped its approval for Lizzie Violet’s lineup for the night.

tossed02

time machine?

Open stagers added more than their fair share to the night’s fun with some fine acappella singing, insightful poetry & even a healthy dash of tres gay raunch (I wonder who brought that to the stage?)

First feature Valentino Assenza open with a couple of well-detailed urban Toronto pieces, streetcars ‘echoes of rides past’  & street corner signers. His set was filled with ‘echoes,’ of the city, of his boyhood summers in Molica, of mentors. ‘the wash and posh,’ ‘business blur of buildings,’ ‘I need you to smother me some relief,’ ‘don’t follow the text book trail,’ ‘playing possum with Buddha.’

tossed

moving on

After a brief break Christina Walkinshaw (http://walkinsauce.tumblr.com) brought the house down with her comic tales of Tinder (‘a Pez dispenser for horny people’) life & being ‘happily single.’ ‘smiling at a child in Loblaw’s is as good as being a mother,’ ‘some girls are wholesome, I’m some hole.’ The story from her blog was wry & taught me, one again, how hard it is to edit while you read. A great fun set.

blackcan

the noir throne

Arlene Paculan (http://www.arlenepaculan.com) closed the show with a sweet sampling of her well crafted pop songs. The great thing about a keyboard is that the musician doesn’t need ten minutes of tuneup before they can start 🙂 The songs she performed covered longing, love & survival. Catchy music and direct, emotional resonant lyrics – ‘I found that bad bad boy/ I trapped him in my broken heart,’ ‘lonely miles away from you,’ ‘I keep waking up to no one,’ ‘I’m stronger than you ever thought I could be.’ As usual she left us wanting more.

rough draft sample
rough draft sample

besides The Amazing (http://wp.me/p1RtxU-PE) I read this new piece:

Sex With Men

I have sex with men

I almost started this with

I sleep with men

opting for that gentler phrase

but the truth is

I don’t sleep with them

I can’t remember the last time

I spent the night with a man

I can’t sleep with someone beside me

 

I have sex with men

I like the kissing

but that isn’t a deal breaker

unless they want

to push on to more than

sucking

 

I almost said oral

opting for that gentler phrase

but the truth is cock sucking

plays a big part in what turns me on to more

the more mutual the sucking

the more that is possible

 

I said ‘more’

opting for that gentler phrase

because anal

I mean butting fucking

opting for that gentler phrase anal

is another way to distance you from what happens

 

I have sex with men

gay bi straight curious

single partnered married

with or without children

living alone

still living at home

as long as they are willing

I’m willing

 

willing up to a point that is

what I’m not into

I’m not into

I draw that line when I have to

I can say no

to what won’t get me off

I say no

because there is no gentler phrase

 

what works for you is fine

if you want to say ‘sleep with’

‘oral’ ‘more’

or sex suck fuck

it’s all the same to me

as long as you do it with me

because I have sex with men

 

 

Like my pictures? I post lots on TumblrDC0502

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet