it was a costume malfunction

not that I was wearing a costume

but the phrase

has become a catch-all

for any apparel slip-up

a top with

too much cleavage

for the airline

shorts that allow 

the balls to dangle

when sitting down

a mini that prevents

the wearer from bending over

without revealing

more than panties


the source of the phrase

costume malfunction

resulted in a corporate shaming

of a black female entertainer

she was shunned

her records her videos banned

who often revealed even more

than that malfunction made public

took the opportunity

to retire from the public light

she was sick tired bored

of no longer being a person

but a product

whose packaging

had replaced the contents


not that my malfunction

revealed anything in public

it was reserved for private

to invite my carefully chosen view

to put his ‘fun’

into my malfunction

When I was younger, slimmer, more adventurous I had a oversized, mechanic’s one piece work coverall , that buttoned up the front. I would hit my favorite gay bar dance floor wearing that with just a jockstrap underneath. I found wearing it made me feel incredibly sexy. It was fashion look that didn’t catch on though – gay guys were more into little satin shorts & tank tops. 

There some who sported black leather, buttless chaps. But even in these somewhat private spots that naked ass was as bare as men would get. I never saw anyone wandering around with dick out for all to see. Even in my few visits to the baths – towels on outside of one’s room, or the showers, or the actual steam room, was enforced. Men could be on their beds in those little rooms, door propped open enough for passers-by to get a good look at what was offered. 

The showbiz manipulation of body image has a long history for exploiting the assets of its female ‘stars’ but when it came to males it was slightly different. Shirtless was fine but some male stars were discourage from bathing suit shots unless they wore loose trunks. Costume designers were tasked with making sure pants, shorts would never betray what lay beneath. Male actors were tucking their tackle long before drag made it mandatory. 

Body shame runs rampant though North American culture with celebs being praised for looking astonishingly good at 62 in their bathing suits or getting lavished with praise for losing weight & finally looking astonishingly good in their bathing suits. Lists of what not wear over a certain age, in public, unless you looking astonishingly good in a bathing suit.

One of my disappointments in Tarzan, or Beach Party movies was the lack of male bulge. Today’s male superheroes have dynamic abs but Ken doll groins.We can’t frighten teen-age fan boys & girls with such offensive sights. Her superhero bodysuit reveals camel toe while his reveals how well he can tuck.

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee – sweet,eh? 

Jackie Toast

The Beautiful and the Damned (BuDa) Jackie Burroughs’ Toast (not roast) at Zelda’s was yet another packed house for this new series. As one of the organizers I have to admit we are doing something right to pack them in with Canadian Festival of Spoken Word ( also packing them in on the same night.

DM Moore hosted a great show with strong open-stage performances by Marcy Rogers, and David Bateman.  Philip Cairns did a sweet, high-glitter, featurette with some of his affectionate poems about Jackie. First feature Sandy Day launched her book ‘Chatterbox  Poems.’ Having read the book I was curious to see how she would present her work. The book is structured with a prose piece then a poem – often the prose commenting on the poem to follow, which I quite enjoyed but wondered how the poetry would breath without the prose.


Sandy gave a strong if slightly nervous reading on her work. For her first time before an audience she did very well. The material was strong but, as I did with the book, I found the prose passages more emotionally grounded.

I did my featurette in the second set – mostly material from ‘Walk Through’ (a chap books of pieces inspired by Jackie) with one piece ‘Shitman’ that I had written with Jackie in mind. It brought down the house, while the ‘Walk Through’ pieces I choose got some laughs and even a few tears. Plus I sold some chapbooks.


Rex Baunset closed the show with a rollicking, high-energy set of fierce gay-folk-punk songs. This man and an acoustic guitar blew the roof off. I’ve heard Rex several time now and each time he gets better. His new songs were funny and hard-hitting at the same time. Someone get this man a record contract.

Being part of the BuDa team my opinions may not be totally impartial but such is life.



he had a shitty attitude

everyone knew that

even passing in the the street

strangers knew he had a shitty attitude

and he didn’t give a shit

if they didn’t like his shitty attitude

they could eat shit and die

for all he cared

for all they cared he was dead


he knew that

by the way they glanced so quickly

looking a way in dismay

acting as if he wasn’t even there

as if they could see though shit

they didn’t know jack shit

that much he knew

and so he didn’t care

if they shit in their shoes when he was near them


he chuckled

shitman would be his super hero name

is it a bird

is a plane

no it’s shitman

and they would crap their pants


that would fix all those mucky muck politicians

if he went to a big important speech

stood in front of them

as they spouted their bullshit to the nation

and glanced down at him

and shit their pants

right there on stage


he could see the look on the face of

the president

the prime minister

the queen

as they found themselves in front of the world

all those cameras microphones reporters

unable to hold it in another minute

that panic as sphincter muscles relaxed

and they crapped their pants

as the smell was recognized


what a laugh that would be

as everyone pretended there was no shit

acted as if the mucky muck had not

just dumped a load in his pants

right their in front of everyone

as he waddled off stage

with that shit my pants walk

crap oozing down into his shoes


yea for shitman

that would be so sweet