Toys Without Land

Piles of castoff toys I’ve seen on my walks my east end neighbourhood over the past couple of years. I guess when children grow up it is simpler to dispose of them (the toys I mean)

bye bye dinosaur

blue guitar in the rain
painted rocks thrown away
found under a stink cabbage leaf
bumpy yellow world
The Prince Who Was Turned Into A Seahorse
Holy Batmen! Batman
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Emptied Toy Boxes

I always wonder about these boxes of toys – out-grown? tossed as punishment? left behind by previous tenants? bedbugs?

blue or green? which suits you
bad day for knights
u-haul these out of here
the blue car
after the tea party
the sun don’t shine anymore
the baby isn’t mine
pink Cthulhu
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Toys About Town

 face the fence

teddy in the wild


the return to silence

vanity curbed

go to your corner

teddy vs security fence

dirty bottom

Sunday –  January 26, 2020 – 1:30 – feature: The Secret Handshake Gallery, 170A Baldwin (Kensington Market) – 1:30

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Log Deep in Yule

Sometimes I am reminded that some people don’t know as much trivial shit as I know. I was reminded of this the other day when a friend of mine says he refused to put up Christmas lights because they were too Christian. Ordinarily I would let someone’s misinformation slip by but this one I had to address. To make this even odder he was unaware of the pre-Christian roots of the Festive season – that the Church co-opted Saturnalia (much as they did with Easter). I also told him there is no mention of outdoor lighting, other than the Star, in the Bible.

I figured everyone knew that what we know as Christmas didn’t come into being until the late 1800’s. Yes, I know there were Christmas feasts for centuries but it didn’t hit its commercial stride until Dickens & then all shopping hell broke loose. He was stunned to hear that Santa Claus, as we envision him, was created by Coca Cola.

Holiday lights spring from the Victorian custom of placing the Christmas Tree in a window for passers-by to see it. It wasn’t until electric lighting that the tree moved into a corner & the windows were trimmed. The tree & lights go back to the ancient Yule need for more lights during the darkest time of the year. Those crafty Church folk quickly made the light represent the Star. Very wise. There’s are lots of excellent documentaries on the history of Christmas so do more research if you want to know more.

I find the PC correctness of the Holidays amusing – calling it Christmas isn’t inclusive of non-Christians. But let me tell you any merchant will accept your cash this time of year whether you are Christian or not. So I go to Festive gatherings, holiday parties. It’s a wonder we get to hear actual carols like Silent Night without some sort of trigger warning. Being an avowed non-Christian I embrace what I can – I love Starbuck’s Egg Nog latte. I’m sure even the Magi would see the wisdom in that.

Dark of Five


in the dark of five in the afternoon

I have no fear of death

just a fear that putting it in words

becomes an invocation

to what needs no invitation




duende knows no time

no clock    no light

nothing is needed

nothing is sacred

diversion is sacramental worship

as long as there is no need to focus

there is no need to fear

there is nothing to push away

the duende brings its own ripe red bite

the edges are crisp clear

you are just wretched rat shit

hoping that you have a way out

there is no need to escape

there no where to go

where the black ribbon won’t tie you

cannot define you but will end you

no need for need

all will be hidden revealed discarded




my fear is that only in death

will I be discovered

that the vast treasure I contain

will only spill forth

like gold nuggets hidden under my skin

when death slices that thin membrane

to send them raining ringing like love



in the dark of five

do I dare invoke duende

while I sit at my window

the fade of an ice etched day

the mortal cold of that snap grip

dances between dust flashes

the empty air ghost filled




I call upon the balsam east

rising hope’s dream language

to assuage pain it can never cure


I call upon the spruce south

the scald of blooded lusts

words tossed to defend portents

all that has passed and will come


I call upon the Douglas west

a sense of past to build on

recall the many who have stood here

to evoke from you a shared memory

our separate histories that

understand pine but see a different box


I call upon the evergreen north

the clarity of moon on brittle snow

the gash of revenge regret atonement

join with the strength from below

the earth that holds divines the future

it has the silence of the sky above

the sun to reflect on us

who count on words to illuminate

what turns out not to be seeable

in the dark of five in the afternoon


HotDamn! It’s A Queer Slam


June – dates t.b.a – Capturing Fire 2018 – Washington D.C.

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NO NO NO thank you



NO NO NO thank you

he asks a leading question

the one to find out

if I’m in to him

if I find him sexually desirable

I don’t want to lead him on

but I also don’t want a discussion

about why I don’t find him sexually desirable

because we have met face to face

we have gotten naked for a play date

but there was no sexual chemistry

I don’t really care if I see him again

I don’t want to be friends

I have enough of those already

that I don’t have time to hang out with

I sense that if I say yes to friends

he’ll always have that naked again hope

that when I decline

he’ll get pissed at me

for leading him on

because we are socially comfortable

on opposite sides of a table

in a coffee shop

how honest do I need to be

to not come across as cold


he asks that leading question

which isn’t going to lead

to where he hopes

because even through

there was no sexual chemistry

we both enjoyed it

but for me

enjoyment isn’t enough


As with many of the Laws as prompts this one, Law 12, is where it lead me & bears little relation to the actual law. ‘Selective honesty’ led me to think of those situations in which a truth is told ‘You are good looking’ while with-holding ‘but I’m not into you.’

14-toy02This deals with the treacherous waters of friends with benefits, people-pleasing and control. The emotional situation is not confined to same-sex attraction. I’ve met many who got caught in ‘relationships’ built solely on the other person’s attraction to them, not on their attraction to the other person.

A two hour tumble, that leads to a two week fling, then moving in after two months, then breaking up after two years can take twenty years to get over. Too many get caught up in the shame of admitting no attraction & the fear of telling another person there is no attraction – not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings is a trap. It’s almost a fear that admitting sexual motivation makes one shallow so we pretend these feelings we may not have or no longer have. Finding a way to let them down easy, or to be let down easy – as I’ve been on both sides of this equation.14-toy03

These days I’d rather come across as cold than lead someone to believe there’s more than there is. The hurt is more embarrassing than traumatizing anyway. It might be an ego boost to spend time with someone who wants me but whom I’m not so into but in the long run it never does them any favours.



Personally I’d rather be told ‘no thanks’ than be lead on because some guy fears he’ll hurt my feelings by saying there’s no interest. By lead on I mean saying things like ‘let’s play again’ then being too busy because being busy is easier than saying no – same with ‘not tonight.’ Say ‘no’ twice & your balls are out of my court for good.


on going 🙂 when new podcast are posted:  Disability after Dark  iTunes


Early 2017:

my first local feature in over a year: location date TBA

it came in

April season 3 FINALS – Friday April 15th Buddies in Bad Times – early show – 7pm startgames

June 2-4: attending: Capturing Fire 2017 –


check out these poets from  Capturing Fire 2015 & 2016

August 31-Sept.3


November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo



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I Am Still Not A #Camera

Back in 2012 I wrote a post about taking pictures ( Since then I’ve upgraded my camera – don’t ask for details I know nothing beyond point, press button for close-up lens, click. I really don’t take picture I take captions.

gloves puzzling evidence

The range of what I look for has expanded some what, though I’m still not taking pictures of flowers in bloom. I also find that when something catches my eye – discarded toilet for example, the next week or so I’ll see them everywhere – same with bathtubs, couches.

Shoes are everywhere – in a gutter, in a show back, in a tidy row along a park sidewalk. Same with socks, gloves, even house plants – nothing sadder than a still growing plant kicked to the curb.

toys the prison of misfit toys

I’ve added garage pics thanks to my walks through lane ways – I like the ones that are somewhat ‘distressed.’ Houses & front yards are often so camera ready while the garage is a shack.

I’m always on the look out for things that tell a story – miscellaneous objects in the wrong spot. Color helps to – I won’t be taking any more pics of lost black or white socks or gloves or scarves – lime green and I’m pulling my camera out.

pram not  pablum either

I always include three new ones with each WordPress post, plus one from the archives. These tend to be random & often unrelated to anything in the post. I’ve been posting sets of 5 to my tumblr account, that don’t get posted here.


May 26 – attending – King John – 2 pm – Stratford

June 6-8 – attending – Bloody Words


June 23-27 – attending – Manuscript to Book – Loyalist Summer Arts – Belleville, Ont

loyalist getting the L out of oyalist

August 28-31 – attending – FanExpo Canada


The Golden Triangle


as I watch

I wonder where they are

that background

why that wall paper

why those paintings

the men in the picture

naked sometimes hard

sometimes with fly open enough

to see pubic flourish

or pulled down

to let their business out

with that aching member arching

into the camera’s eye

my eye

wandering away from the pivotal point

the golden triangle not holding me

as I wonder

where did they get those curtains

where is the light coming from

how long have they squirmed on that couch


while someone focusses clicks

getting them to turn this way that

ooh that’s good

getting them to pout to smile

grimaces that only convey

how uneasy they are in front of a camera

faces that often reveal nothing

not even discomfort

sometimes a splash of stoned

the goofy far away look of someone

who has once again

retreated to some other moment

while someone with a camera

zeros in on the part of them

that tells viewers nothing

that may make mouths water

but it ends there

I wonder what next

did they go for drinks

was there money exchanged

paying their way through college


are they just hapless street boys

lost and being prayed upon

are they confident hustlers

aware of the power of their sweet grins

firm chins and eager eyes

is there pleasure there

more than a rote factory of okay


if you ran into one of them on the street

saw him sitting across from you on a bus

or serving you a coffee

what do you say

do you recognize that face

does it seem familiar

but you just can’t place it

without those curtains behind it

if you remember

then what can you say

‘I really dug you on the Internet’


do they know there are men

who know their photographic

pixilated flat screen bodies

better than they know their own flesh

viewer and viewed

strangers in a circle

a lens

that captures them both

one in a moment that never changes

each time it is viewed it is the same

no new light no new angle

can fall on the image


no matter how often

I count the petals on the rose curtains

study the business

that is never put back in its pants

I can never taste it

plantmy stem is cold