Bye Bye 2019

Over the past year my TOpoet.ca following blog grew from 298 to 363! That’s 65 new followers without me going out of my way beyond blogging regularly. The only stat WP doesn’t give is where the followers are located but WP map does show my hits have come from 91 countries around the world. That India tops the list is interest but that Bangladesh & Kenya are in the top 10 is a surprise. Kazakhstan! Kuwait!

My Tumblr is at 255. I no longer post there as regularly after the ‘porn’ crack down that had my pictures of random toys, or lost shoes, red flagged as being possibly against community standards. I didn’t have the energy keep asking for a review of the flag. Twitter 217 followers. Yes – my account was un-suspended after my appeal. Seems my hashtags were inappropriate for some reason. #Whatever.

2019 has been a pretty good year for me. Health has been good. Finances have been stable. Finished the edit & blogging of Coal Dusters. I hate to bring it to an end as I really loved these characters – but their stories had been told. Response was good for the novel. There’ll probably be another revision if I get back to again. Next up is Picture Perfect.

The other highlight of the year was my visit to Cape Breton where I had a great time with my sister – she loves to drive – with some old friends & also just on my own. Revisited old schools, churches of my past, took lots of photos & lost weight!! I also took my favorite photo of 2019 while at Fort Petrie.

Saw great shows at the Stratford Festival (my fav Nathan The Wise) & disappointing show at the Shaw (Mae West’s Sex was given a frenetic but poorly performed production.) Already have some shows booked for the 2020 Stratford season.

The big event for 2020 will be the 10th Anniversary of Capturing Fire in Washington DC. I do hope to get there, if I can afford it & before the Trump implosion closes the borders to the unemployed sneaking in to steal jobs. paypal.me/TOpoet I’ll be booking my trip once the dates are confirmed. 

https://wp.me/P1RtxU-2f6

January
Thursday 23 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Buddies and Bad Times Theatre – featuring ‘Yes The Poet’ https://www.facebook.com/events/577900226377507/ 

March
March 5 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Buddies and Bad Times Theatre

April
April 3 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Season 6 finales Buddies and Bad Times Theatre

May

Richard III – Stratford Festival

June  – Capturing Fire 2020 – Washington D.C.  capfireslam.org 

July

All’s Well That Ends Well – Stratford Festival

Hey! Or you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington at 2020’s capfireslam.org – sweet, eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

October Recap

In October TOpoet.ca  had many days with over 60 hits. India tops the list with Canada at the top of the hit list, 2nd place is USA, with India regaining 3rd. Increases seen from Mauritius & Kenya coming on strong. The blog now has 359 followers (up from 298 at the start of the year). 246 Tumblr followers. Steady increase is best. Finally down to the end of Coal Dusters one more short chapter to wrap things up in November 🙂 It’ll come in at just under 138,000 words.

My Twitter account was suspended without warning or explanation other than I had broken their rules but they refused to tell me which ones: hate speech? spamming? using copyright materials? When I pressed for an answer I was told not to bother them & that they would not reply again to my requests for explanations. So my twitter following is down to 0. It was a time waster & did nothing to enhance my productivity.

The only event, so far, in November is the Hot Damn! show on November 7 at Buddies in Bad Times. Season 5 winner Wes Ryan will be the feature. I’m giving NaNoWriMo a rest this year. Though I managed good work last year it had become a chore rather than a challenge. I may focus on organizing Picture Perfect which I hope to start blogging in 2020. Not sure what Tuesdays will bring – maybe another photo blog similar to Sunday’s.

Other blog days will remain the same. Pictures may become even more random than they are now 🙂 Friday will see lps covers & such that I’ve come across on my walks. People throw away the oddest things :-). Taking pictures is more practical, for me, than taking objects. 

TV pleasures include American Horror Story; 1984 – so far one of the best arcs of the series. Past seasons have felt stretched out by plot tangents. This one has been tight, taught & bloody good fun. The new season of Castle Rock has started & the Misery/Salem’s Lot mash up is off to a good start. Hopefully Space won’t screw up the running times as badly as they did last season. I also hope they broadcast it same time same day, instead of moving it around without notice.

Currently I’m reading: I Am Providence – a biography of HP Lovecraft by S. T. Joshi – fascinating not only for  his life but for the literary context of the time – letters-to-the-editor often became like twitter wars – with strangers taking potshots at each via the anonymity of these letters. Also a critical study by David Kalat of Toho’s Godzilla movies putting them into a cultural context. As well as the final piece in the Works of John Addington Symonds – his biography of Michelangelo.

Rant In A Tea Cup

the weather report isn’t good

no matter how nice 

the meteorologist says it is

it’s a lie 

a spin

to keep me from worrying 

about how bad it really is

no matter how perfect the days looks

it is bad

getting worse

each day less air to breath

more burning rays to avoid

 

the spin doesn’t fool me

more days when 

you can’t let seniors out till after dark

can’t let children play in the park

 

the prognoses isn’t promising

umbrellas aren‘t enough 

parkas aren’t enough

there is no protecting ourselves 

from this air we breath

from the constant crumble of the real world

 

the weather isn’t good

no matter what

America’s next top politician says

there is no roll back for the ecology

next top politician is like 

America’s next top model

they are only spokespersons

to give that hopeful spin

that change is going to come

sure it will 

but it isn’t going to a change for the better

not a change for the ordinary folk

unless that change

means big bucks for someone

the climate doesn’t have 

the right corporate sponsor

it needs a better spokesperson

 

the sunny day is a fraud

a taste of emptiness fills my mouth

when I breath what remains of our air

wondering which microscopic mote

is the one that gives me cancer

as it turns my skin to lumpy melanoma 

drooping sagging leather

rain snow sunshine highs lows

with chill uv factors

smog alerts

economic forecast grim

auto sectors need a bail out 

oil is raking in billions of profits

why not let oil bail out auto

not the highs and lows we want to see

 

so many clouds 

in the fog wrapping

around our brains 

our willingness stifled 

by the powerlessness imposed 

by powerless people in control of

spokesmodels

for hidden puppeteers

who we never will know 

because everyone is on someone 

else’s weather radar map

no one is free

no one can leave the house

without first checking 

to see what the weather is like 

the sky isn’t telling us the truth

no one is 

so take your umbrella

because a smile

isn’t enough protection any more 

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington at 2020’s capfireslam.org – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

Hot Algorithm Method

Hot Damn! It’s A Queer Slam launched its sixth season with a show that reflected & amplified the diversity of poets, slam & otherwise, in the LGBTQIA community. Passionate, articulate voices meet & perform on the stage to challenge our personal concepts of LGBTQIA.

The launch was hosted by Robyn Kaur Sidhu, with some off-stage organizing help from Robert Molloy & Heather Beamish. These are the new energy needed to propel this growing series into the the next five years 🙂 Don’t worry Charlie Petch is merely stepping back a little to let others experience grow. Stepping Back, not stepping away 🙂

After a rousing opening by Ogichdaa Kwe – with a pair of greeting songs, the show got started with a great open stage lined up. Lines from the open stagers: I give myself permission to be messy, melting on an angel’s tongue, I slap my own face, so listen to what I say/ before I change my mind, you are what I thought was impossible, your birdcage heart, temporary stitches of reconciliation, she never asked for her hair to be cut

Lines from the first slam round: the laugh track that follows my body around is deafening, algorithms know the name of the wrong man before I meet him, his body looks like security, brunch at exactly 11:03 a.m. every Sunday for the last 3 years, out of the car or out of the brain/ whichever comes first, code – nothing – to hide, lid – open – eyes, I know where my passing privilege lands, my body a war zone of what-ifs, you solidarity is performative

 

Feature Zoey Roy (https://www.facebook.com/therealzoeyroy/) took the stage and invited us into her unflinching worldview. Saskatoon’s loss is definitely Toronto’s gain.  I remember smile, you had your voice all along, we’ve been silence on purpose, your homes & our fears, every fire needs a stone, they tried so hard to bury us/ they know know we were seeds, someone who forgot they once had dreams, a rap-sheet longer than his life, in the mirror I recite a new approach, bravery doesn’t make us any more/ fear doesn’t make us any less, a nice fantasy but a crude reality

after a brief break we were into round 2: my gender got lost not he way to the poetry slam, a go-fund-me for white tears, love can burn brightly between those who are supposed to love, ideas in a book I wasn’t supposed to read, I would rather be a sinner than be unscathed, heart – felt flutter – butterfly, for the first time I am seeing the damage, silent to protect those who hurt me, said it was my fault when it wasn’t –

Scores were tallied, winners announced, prizes given. The real winners, as usual, were the audience. The next Toronto Hot Damn! is November 7, at Buddies in Bad Times.

I read a couple of pieces on the open stage including:

The Company You Keep

the owner of the cafe

had called someone

an inappropriate name

it was a twitter thing

a video 

posted of the 

owner saying 

those offensive things

now no one can go

to the cafe

without being considered guilty

of saying those things themselves

 

now

to be honest

I haven’t heard

what the owner said

I haven’t watched the video

this is all the context I know

and now

I can’t even mention the name

of the cafe

I can’t even admit 

that I’ve been there

in the past

or let it be known

that I regret

that I can’t go to that cafe

ever again

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee at Capturing Fire 2020 – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet 

The Company You Keep

The Company You Keep

the owner of the cafe

had called someone

an inappropriate name

it was a twitter thing

a video 

posted of the 

owner saying 

those offensive things

now no one can go

to the cafe

without being considered guilty

of saying those things themselves

 

now

to be honest

I haven’t heard

what the owner said

I haven’t watched the video

this is all the context I know

and now

I can’t even mention the name

of the cafe

I can’t even admit 

that I’ve been there

in the past

or let it be known

that I regret

that I can’t go to that cafe

ever again


Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee at Capturing Fire 2020- sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet 

July 2019 Sneak Peek

First the June recap of my on line life 🙂 My fan base continues expanded slowly but surely. WordPress followers is up to 329 (5 new followers this past week), Twitter up to 219, & Tumblr is at 231. My WP hits topped 40 many days with a couple of 60 & one day 82! The day I re-posted 2015’s Porn Has Ruined My Sex Life https://wp.me/p1RtxU-3A0. I’ve started a systematic weekend reposting of my last trip to Cape Breton in 2012.

Coal Dusters continues to grow as I get nearer the end with 111,700 words posted so far, still about 30,000 words to go. Finally got to the mine cave-in. So much going on in this section I had to add more! In that first draft I didn’t really build much for Lillian to do – as I’ve been strengthening her character I needed to show her in this new light. Exciting finish will hopefully play out in July.

TV was diverting in June, besides the many movies we watch & endless documentaries I enjoyed the relaunched Project Runway – longer episodes, more interaction with the contestants by the judges & temper tantrums. We also saw more of the judges deliberations. I love the diversity & inclusivity of this show. I do wish they would have at least men’s wear challenge each season though.

Read The Frolic of the Beasts By Yukio Mishima, originally published in 1961 and available in English for the first time last year. Similar to The Sound of Waves but much darker. More blog posts about my love of Mishima: https://wp.me/p1RtxU-36t, https://wp.me/p1RtxU-qS.

Celebrated another birthday & bought myself a subtle Cashew top from Diop https://weardiop.com. Added Prince’s Originals to my music collect as well as Frank Zappa’s: The MOFO Project/Object – The Mother’s Freak Out plus a slew of extras. Help, I’m a rock 🙂 I already have this on CD but wanted the extras 🙂 Freak Out was quite influential on my creative sense of self stranded in the backwoods of Cape Breton. Listening to it bring back great memories.

July brings heat, I hope. My garden is taking jungle turn already thanks to the rain at night & sun in the day. My one Stratford excursion will be to see Gotthold Ephraim Lessing  ‘Nathan the Wise’ from 1783. I vaguely know the story but I have no idea what to expect. The Festival describes it as “rarely seen masterpiece of the eighteenth-century Enlightenment.” I hope it isn’t too educational 🙂

The Wednesday poetry chats for July & August will focus on my Brown Betty chapbook – all the pieces are about my growing up in Cape Breton. Thursday’s will contuse with new pieces inspired by the 227 Rules For Monks. Super sneak peek: August in Cape Breton 🙂

Measuring Up – A Cape Breton School Memory

I grew up

in a school system

where I learned 

I would never measure up

because I wasn’t smart enough

to memorize the times table

smart enough

to regurgitate passages of text books

when I wrote exams

even when I was right

I was given no credit

because my spelling was so wrong


Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee on my trip to Cape Breton – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet 

June 2019 Sneak Peek

 

First the May recap 🙂 My fan base continues expanded slowly but surely. WordPress is up to 320, Twitter dropped to 214, & Tumblr is at 226. Coal Dusters continues to grow as I get nearer the end with 106,500 words posted so far, about 30,000 words to go. Finally got to the mine cave-in. Exciting finish to that will play out in June. 

Entertainment highlight was the start of our Stratford season. The costume warehouse tour was amazing & playing dress up was a treat. Henry VIII was a good solid production. The weather for the day was good though we did drive though a thunderstorm on the way home.

 

I read an amazing book Roadside Picnic by brothers Arkady and Boris Strugatsky. The book inspired  Andrei Tarkovsky’s film Stalker. The book is as amazing as the premise: aliens visit Earth, refuse all attempt to communicate for years, then depart. They leave behind garbage which contains technology which humans don’t know how to use but try to adapt. Add a layer of Russian philosophic angst & you have success. See the movie, read the book.

I spent a several morning working on my long neglected garden, raking, weeding, seeding & cutting back, Once that was done fresh annuals & herbs planted amongst the perennials: alyssum (wonderland white, wonderland deep purple), basil, begonia (bada boom bronze leaf white, cosmos (sontata mix), coriander, dianthus (ideal select mix) impatiens (dazzler merlot, dazzler white), lavender, lobelia, marigolds (bonanza yellow, bonanza gold, super hero harmony), parsley, petunias (dreams red picotee, pretty grand white, yellow madness, pretty grand rose), rosemary, sage, snap dragons (snaptini mix), sweet peas, tarragon, thyme. Green, colourful & edible.

 Other than tending the garden June brings – nothing 🙂 No spoken word things scheduled, no plays booked to see. Plugging away at Coal Dusters edits & I hope to have the final chapters published by the end on July.

Desire

once upon a teenage time

I wanted someone like an ocean

to sweep me off my feet

I wanted to be a tidal wave

that would find the right someone

to cover with the wet wildness of my desires

 

looking back at those surface struggles

that sought some physical release 

for a spiritual urge

it was no wonder 

I became frustrated and disappointed

each time I thought passion 

was the point of love

frustrated and disappointed 

when at each attempt 

to smother love into my life it escaped

seeped out of the edges

 

that sweet emotional context 

that didn’t fulfill enough 

had to be my fault your fault

I suppose in a way it was my fault

for wanting that physical solution

where only the perfect kiss

from an adoring lover

could take this lonely pain from me

I didn’t realize 

it would take more than one kiss

more than one adoring lover 

in fact there weren’t enough kisses lovers

money music sunshine rainbows

to take this separateness from me

 

those were ideals

designed to be enjoyed

not as a cure for anything

adding the weight of expectations

always left me frustrated and disappointed

when I expected a physical rescue

from a spiritual ocean


Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee on my trip to Cape Breton – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet 

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

October 2018 Sneak Peek

Before I look forward here’s some stats for September. My Twitter following is up to 209 – not all of whom are book cover designers or internet marketing specialists. Tumblr is up to 208 – it would be higher but I block the frequent hetero porn sights that follow me – oddly I don’t get that sort of queer porn spam. I’ve been posting daily photo set at Tumblr for the last several weeks & will probably keep it up to the end of October.
I’ve been on WordPress for 7 years now & have built up to 273 followers, after 1425 posts. Chances are good I’ll hit 280 by the end of the year. I hope to wake up one morning to find one of my posts has gone viral.

Coal Dusters is moving along nicely. I’ve been taking my time to edit each new chapter & have been expanding them with more period detail & in one case a more colourful physical description, even creating whole new scenes to add to atmosphere. I’ve blogged approx 48,000 words so far with at least another 67,000 to go.

Coming up in October on the blog Tuesday & Wednesday will be devoted to scary poems. Tuesdays will fresh blood, while Wednesday I’ll discuss last October’s fresh blood poems. Friday I’ll post about my favorite horror writers & how they inspired me. Mondays will remain music, Tuesday Coal Dusters continues.

I’ll be going to Toronto Gratitude’s 40th Anniversary October 5/6/7. I haven’t been to the round up for a couple of years now but considering that I was at the very first one it’s fitting I make an appearance. I’ll be staying at downtown hotel so I can enjoy the event without the stress of transit. I’ll also be taking in my last Stratford show of the season later in the month: Paradise Lost. 

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet 

On Line = Life?

For a few days this past winter, thanks to local power outages & some Rogers down issue I had no Internet access. One local coffee shop was Bell, whew, so I squeezed in 20 minutes there but …. what I realized was how life has become so immeshed in the web. I was addicted. I can’t imagine my daily life without it, really.26brownbox01It’s the grid for my daily routines, I eat breakfast while checking email & posting my various blogs. Check for what I refer to as ‘nibbles’ on carefully selected gay cruising sites, check the weather one last time before I go out for my morning walk. I do not have a smart phone so there’s no distractions from my taking photos to post on my blog. Check for email to cool down when I get home. You get the picture. Nearly all the music I buy is downloaded, same for ebooks, same for guys I meet, same for tee-shirts, underwear – one click & it/he’s here eventually.26brownbox02August has been an unusually good month, so far, for my TOpoet.ca blog. There was an unexpected spike in interest for a couple of weeks where I was getting up to 50 hits a day. Many for home page/archives which is pretty general – then the bulk of them for old posts: the most for There Was The Word, plus some for Racism or Slut Shaming; Creature From The Porn Lagoon. It was as if someone had put a link up somewhere to lead people here.26whitebox03These are all actually clicks to that post. No likes or comments – but you have to be a WP member to do either of those things, I think. It’s gratifying to see those old posts looked at, they are ones that certainly represent me perfectly as a queer writer. Sadly this hasn’t resulted in any new followers though 😦 After some time on WordPress I’ve finally passed the 150 subscribers point. Some that I follow have accumulated thousands of followers in less time. But I haven’t done any real promotion (i.e. tweets that say please please follow me & I’ll follow you) & figure those people who follow me do so because they want to follow me in specific.26glassnbox04Things that I once thought might bump hits have in fact produced next to nothing – I get more likes on twitter for the link to my WordPress than I get hits on my WordPress. Same holds true for having a twitter retweet of that link, or getting included in someone ‘curated’ online newspaper. I guess a low-profile is better than no profile 🙂

sample

Crush

the crops were good

in the years after the war

the fields were rich

with the fallen

buried deep

very deep

that was the secret

to avoid pestilence

disease

the fallen were buried deep

so deep

no one knows their names

no one remembers the war

or how many years it took

before the decay

enriched the soil

recreated the world we live in

the earth we walk on

they will be remembered and forgotten

at the same time

the way it should be

to all challengers of decency

they become our history

dust

our world

is built on this dust

this decay

of what has fallen

crushed under the weight of time

forgotten

by the piling up of more

by the importance of now

all those wasted products of the past

slowly dissolved

first to be discarded

then names to be erased

with so much recorded

there is no one with the time to recall

to read about

to dig for these bones

not while

so much more needs to be planted

needs to be grown

reinventing is easier

than resurrection

the enemy changes

but it is never us

we’re too busy buryingsoon02

cover170x170-1on going 🙂 when new podcast are posted:  Deliciously iTunes

October  6 – Thursday Toronto, 8 pm, Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander St.

et

http://www.queerslam.com/season-3-dates.html

November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo

nanobullseye

http://nanowrimo.org/

December – Thursday Dec 1st – Toronto, 8 pm, Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander St.divine

http://www.queerslam.com/season-3-dates.html

6DC0301

Early 2017:

my first local feature in over a year: location date TBA

it came in

April season 3 FINALS – Friday April 15th Buddies in Bad Times – early show – 7pm startgames

http://www.queerslam.com/season-3-dates.html

June 2-4: attending: Capturing Fire 2017 –

newcap

https://capfireslam.org

check out these poets from Capturing Fire 2015: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx5KD1eDccdjdTdQ28kZRNg

money

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblrglass

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

All My #Followers

After just over four years my WordPress ‘followers’ has finally hit 100 – when I see some whom I follow with upwards of 10,000 followers I wonder what I’m doing wrong – not enough nudes, vulgarity, positivity, negativity? Or perhaps what I’m doing right – by, usually, not worrying about #’s.redbird01

The low number means people have chosen to follow the blog because they want to not excuse they follow everyone who follows them then never looks at the posts – like friending & hiding people on FB or muting them on Twitter. redbird02

As much as I’d love to have 5,000 followers I’m not willing to the the work to attract them beyond what I do now. Writing, performing & registering at events as TOpost.ca is enough of a push for me to maintain. It’s been hard enough to get show hosts to actually refer to me as TOpoet.ca or just plain TOpoet. When they do they act as if it’s some sort of joke & want to know my real name. I tell them follow my blog for the real name. They never do.redbird03

It’s like people who want to know the real poet or the true person to demonstrate their own depth of sensitivity & perception. These are the ones who confuse the ‘I’ of a poem with the person who wrote it. TOpoet is not a confessional poet even hen he writes about himself. It’s as if I’m less authentic as a writer & person because I’ve ‘branded’ myself. I guess only trans people have the privilege of changing their names & remaining authentic and the same time 🙂memirror

Thanks for following this shallow inauthentic writer and sometimes hitting the like button & even going so far as to re-post me. The real ‘I’ appreciates it.wp2016

samp03

Bird

I didn’t think one bird

could make so much noise

protecting a nest somewhere

in one of the mall lighting poles

a cowling stuffed

with plastic bags coffee cups lost gloves

a home for eggs chicks

 

this bird wasn’t chirping

it wasn’t a caw or a quack

a raw short harsh bark

the feathers were dusty black

glints of green as it darted

at car windows   side mirrors

wings fluttering

its beak struck at reflections

chasing people to their car

then flapping to sit

on the handle of a shopping cart

victorious preening ruffled feathers

eyes agleam

 

as I parked it was on a car roof

gobbling up bits of a donut

predigesting them for that nest I supposed

are trans fats healthy for birds

maybe that was why it was so aggressive

too much sugar not enough roughage

just what the world needs

another constipated enraged fiend

eager to peck your eyes out

for looking at it the wrong way

 

I opened car door a crack

its black pearl eyes were on me

one raspy shriek talons stretched

it landed on my windshield

shitting a white smear

as the nails scrabbled to take hold

it pulled itself upright

with a shake and glared at me

another car pulled in

the beast flew to it

I got out and rushed to the mall

 

when I returned the bird was gone

a few feathers stuck to my car hood

I got a rag out of the trunk

alert to make sure

I wasn’t about to be attacked

I could hear cars engines   doors slamming

 

I drove to the exit I saw it

crushed

I pulled over

the bird was dead

my tears too late for protection

http://www.queerslam.com

hot

money

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

birds

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

#Connect #Disconnect

I love the way the Net allows us to connect & disconnect at the same time. Facebook settings that allow me to Friend but not follow, that allow me to invite while preventing others from inviting me. Twitter settings that allow me to follow but, if I choose, to mute & to block re-tweets of wet kittens. Connected & disconnected at the same time.

redshorts

We can control who sees us but we can’t control how Facebook, Twitter etc uses our very presence to control us, to sell our privacy. Google maps shows what hotel I’m book at in DC even though I’ve never entered that info into google. I look at something on online retail & ads for it show up on my Yahoo account, on FB feed too. Smart, but not smart enough to know I’m not interested.

cons01

I’m not complaining, just observing. I accept that there is no such thing as privacy on line, though I sure hope my Apple’s built-in camera is only active if I activate it. I trust that when I turn my computer off it’s really off. I’m pretty sure that my pvr, my dvd player are only sending information to me & not back to someone who is watching me though a hidden portal in the time/space continuum.

cons02

Not that I have such sordid, raunchy or politically dangerous activity – I’m no treat to the fabric of our political system. I just don’t relish the thought of anyone seeing how dull my life actually is. I don’t mind being observed I just don’t want to be judged 🙂

purplemitt

I sat down to do a post about my online life – WordPress, Facebook etc but this notion of privacy took over. The notion of image, control, online profile, encryptions – to what end? I get hits from around the world here at WordPress – I always love to see where – Brazil! North Korea! People who get to know a little about me & yet whom I will never know anything about except their, maybe, country of contact – I wouldn’t be surprised if the wasn’t a program that disguises country of contact. Don’t be shy, say hi, or send me $ 🙂

samp03

Joining Amelia

I don’t want to die

I just want to disappear

vanish without a trace

bones never to be found

here one day and gone the next

seen walking from the subway

but never to arrive home

erased from reality

leaving only this string of words

to trip searchers as they look for clues

for hints

of where the heck is he

what ever happened to him

to become a cultural oddity like Earhart

to show up on Investigative Reports

Scene of The Crime

 

they would infrared the backyard

looking for those bones

search the ravine under the viaduct

question the neighbours    my friends

some of whom

might even recollect what I looked like

 

even when I was around

there was so little known about me

some knew where I lived

others knew I didn’t live alone

some knew I was a natural blond

others knew I walked a lot

no one had the whole picture

 

as those elements are slowly pieced together

it still wouldn’t add up

even if they could get all the facts

even if there was a witness

to the whole of this life

like security camera footage

the picture wouldn’t be clear

enough for them to know

where the heck did he get to

he was here one day and now gone

into thin air – into myth

returned to the Seven Sisters

returned

to the ache of your nearly understanding

 

I don’t want to die

I want to vanish

 

November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo 2019
nano15

http://nanowrimo.org/

hot

money

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy more music – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

construction

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

thanks