Creature From the Porn Lagoon

Had a good night at Plasticine Poetry Sunday. Sizable house, sold some chap books, signed a couple of them, got cash in hand (which I always declare), had my set recorded by Myke Mazzei for a future cd. Charlie Petch always the perfect host (except when they aren’t there & I end up as the imperfect host).

Heather Wood had the first feature spot. She read a story that will be in ‘The Anthology of Modern Fables’ – a fun piece about a cell-phone with telepathic abilities (I wish I had one with pre-call warning). She then did a stroll through ‘Roll With It’ – following one specific plot thread to it resolution in an Olympic figure skating routine. A well structured set.

I was up next with my raunch attack. Pacing is key for me to keep flow of a set natural and to take, I hope, listeners with me. The first few pieces were sort of innocent, early, hunger-for-sex that weren’t overly explicit. Then each piece became more direct, always with a buffer of humor. As expected “my cock is so big/ it gives Freudians nightmares” brought the house down, as did: “he dropped his pants to release/ the creature from the porn lagoon/ thicker than the accents/ of an entire Brazilian water polo team”

Jeff Cottrill started the second set. We have featured together a few times before – for some reason putting two big, bald, funny guys on stage is hard to resist – but our sense of irony & humor couldn’t be more different. I loved his ‘Love Letter’ – how tell a woman she’s beautiful without objectifying her. It was great to hear his post-modern self-reflective parody ‘Review of this piece.’


Final feature was Carolyn Smart – she did a strong set of new pieces about Bonnie and Clyde. Her writing is simple, direct and emotional. She seems to avoid images that would distract us for the raw emotions and violence of their lives. Sadly her books were scooped away before I could buy one.

The excellent line-up of open stagers that opened and closed the show – including Lizzie Violet, Vanessa McGowen – sets the bar high for us features.



whisps of chin hair

glasses a la skater punk nerd

he laughed about starbuck’s coffee

even tossed out a latin phrase

which wasn’t what I wanted tripping from his tongue


a frisky feel in the dark corner of the bar

made it clear he was packing more

than his uber baggy jeans reveled

when we got back to his place

he dropped his pants to reveal

the creature from the porn lagoon


thicker than the accents

of an entire Brazillian water polo team

balls emu eggs in the palms of my hands

skin was cozy tattooed flannel

his tongue a whispering clock

tasted of unripe apples

his teeth warm endlessly round ice crystals

melted drooling draining

each step of the ten thousand to the temple


his nipples express train rush pressure

immersion into the gutteral swamp of gasps

arm pits salt seasoned licorice tampura teasing

stomach muscle dunes

sahara but not parched for long

as we shifted camel humps

burdened with a growing growling treasure

an oasis of pubic eden cillia

savory basil black fresh crushed rushed


the creature from the porn lagoon

an already oozing fountain

watermelon baby power

his trembling tip lip touch

tumble choices chances escaping grasps

pushing back for more torrent torment

his laugh now clinking unfinished

coffee cups of memory

That’s So 50 Shades of Gay

(Chapter titles)

gay tripper
gay dream believer
gay by gay

tomorrow is another gay
our gay will come
what a difference a gay makes

our gayly bread

gay of the triffids
the gay after tomorrow

independence gay

give us this gay
the gays of our lives

orange you glad